Stretching week!!!

What an amazing week. Tiring and filled with eventful moments. I truly enjoy my time in Bendigo, although I doubt I’ll stay there for the rest of my life. Nevertheless, it’s not as doggy as I thought it would be, it’s not as ulufied as other rural areas like Kuala Kubu Bahru. The town is quite big, and it was filled with skillfully built historical buildings. It sort of took off the whole “country” mentality in me. The place I stayed, Lister House is near to this magnificent and huge cathedral. Its beauty is magnified at night when the building glow with glory as the yellow light falls on its walls.

As for my rotation, it is awesome. My first block is Gastroenterology and General Surgery. Bendigo Hospital is great. The doctors and nurses are very nice, and helpful. The real action kicks in on Tuesday when Mohana & I tried to go to the theatre to check out an inguinal hernia surgery, which turned out to be cancelled. So we ended up seeing a vascular bypass surgery, which truly amazed me when the surgeon showed me the venous & arterial thrombus. Well, I learnt a lot about it in IMU but I never actually seen nor felt one. That experience was amazing. Had my outpatient in the afternoon under this surgeon. Met the registrar under him and he has been very helpful. Taught us a couple of stuff about abdominal exams. I saw a patient with gallstones and she was scheduled for an operation the next day. He asked us to come for morning rounds the next day before scrubbing in for her surgery. I was totally like “YES” and thanking God for meeting such a nice registrar. So, I went back and study a bit on cholecystectomy.

On Wednesday morning, Mohana & I woke up at 6 a.m. and head straight to the surgical unit & found out that the team has already started the morning rounds. I met this 5th year Monash student, Hang is her name. Noticed that she’s very good and knows her stuff and her whereabouts in the ward and writing reports for investigations & stuff… hope that by the end of my 5th year, I’ll be as equip as her if not better! After the rounds, I scrubbed in for a abdominal cancer surgery. It was pretty cool though as I felt the tumour mass which was almost the size of a knuckle.

Thursday started off with morning rounds, followed by appendicectomy. The surgeon asked me a couple of basic questions regarding appendicitis, but I found myself out of words. Realized that I’ve forgotten so much of my pre-clinical stuff. As for Friday, I saw how to perform an IV cannula on a patient’s vein. I’ll try it next week.

Nevertheless, it’s good to be back in Melbourne for the weekend and have proper food. Haven’t been eating healthily the entire week. Lunches are always sandwiches packed from home, and dinners are all microwavable food such as pasta or lasagna. Too tired to run out to buy food or cook anything. Been waking up at 6a.m. and finishes about 6.30p.m. Slept around 2a.m. almost every night.

Anyway, looking forward to next week. Hopefully there’s interesting cases to see or nice surgeries to scrub into. Gotta make a lot of effort to learn.

First week

Thank God it’s Friday!!!!! Had a long and tiring week. I had my first week of introduction to clinical school in Austin. Every morning, I woke up at 6.30am, before the sun rises, get ready as fast as I possibly could, catch the tram down to the city, then a train to Heidelberg, where my beautiful Austin Hospital is. It took me about 45 minutes to an hour to get there. All these happened in the cold freezing morning weather! My day starts at 8.30am all the way til about 4.30pm. When I reached IH at the end of the day, the sky turned dark… but as for today, it is my first day since I got back to Melbourne where I can sit in my room, facing the cloudy sky and typing this blog.

Clinical was pretty fun though, despite the fact I am going to Bendigo (which happens to be a pekan). Did some cool stuff this week:-

1. I learnt some basic physiology stuff like helping the patient to sit up from lying on his bed, helping patient to stand from sitting position and using different walking aids and their functions in assisting patient walking.

2. During my respiratory tutorial, the registrar thought us a couple of new stuff during physical exam. The patient which has a hyperinflated chest presented with shortness of breath. In addition to that, he has rheumatoid arthritis on his right hand and osteoarthritis on his left. Pretty interesting eh? Plus, the reg taught us how to check if the diaphragm is working through physical exam. Thought the session was awesome!

3. Yesterday I was tagging a nurse in a stroke ward. I assisted a doctor in a male catheterization on a patient with urinary retention because of his lower spinal problem and prostate enlargement. I think we were in the room for about 40 minutes but the catheter can’t seem to go into the bladder because of the obstruction by the prostate and the much clot in the urethra due to the trauma by the previous catheter. I think the doctor informs the urologist and I think the patient might undergo suprapubic catheterization.

Overall, it was a tiring but exciting weekend. Can’t wait til next week. Starting my gastroenterology (gut system) and general surgery block next week in Bendigo. I think I gotta take a lot of own initiative in order to learn. Just have to be more “semangat” in learning and interact with patients.

A blessed holidays!

I think it’s about time I drop a post before the blog master starts emailing me and ask if I wanna continue on with my blog. 5 weeks seemed like a dream. It ended so fast and felt like it had never happened. I’m back in Melbourne and started my clinical school in Austin Hospital this week. The taste and joy of holiday has faded away, consumed by the tiredness of my daily schedule in Austin Hospital.

Nevertheless, I really praise God for such a blessed 5 weeks. I remember the 3 weeks back in KL was totally amazing. Praise Him for an opportunity of time and blessing me with cheap tickets back home. The joy of seeing my family and spending time with them like usual, hanging out in the living room and having meals together like good old times. Seeing friends that soon going to UK, my high school buddies, and spending time with the leaders in church just made my holidays back in KL more fulfilling. Driving in KL, hanging out in KLCC, eating my favourite food and spending ringgit completed everything!

I remembered the time in KLIA when I was leaving for Sydney, Jessica asked me “Are you the only child in your family?” & of course I answered “No. & why do you say so?” She said, “Coz you look like one.” I began to realize why she had that impression. I’m so loved and blessed by my family & I know they were sad to see me leave so early. Some of my friends might think I’m a “brat”, well in a way, I’m glad I was treated as one. This magnifies my parents’ love for me, and I truly thank God for blessing me with such an awesome family.

I flew to Sydney & spent 2 days touring the city with my church members. It was great fun. I enjoyed Fish Market the most since the food is so cheap, and it was top-class fresh seafood! But the highlight was Hillsong Conference! About 30, 000 people from different nations gathered under one roof, united as His body, worshiped Him and encountered Him for a week! Was so blessed to be part of it! I remember a statement was made which really ministered to me:

“The church is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church!”

Amazing eh? Will blog more about the things God spoke to me in Hillsong.

After that week, I spent another week in Adelaide with my friends. I must somehow say that Adelaide looks better than Sydney, I sorta like the place more than Sydney. Anyhow, Melbourne is still better. But the best part is not about the city, but it’s about spending time with my friends. Se Yin, Lay In & Chun Peng were there too. Sneaking into Village, visiting Handoff together, feed kangaroos, preparing steamboat and cooking together, play boggle & boggal (Malay version of boggle), catching up with each others’ lives... it’s such a good time spent together. Was really sad on my last night in Chris’ place. The thought of having to return to Melbourne didn’t excite me. Chris & Chuen kept saying, “You’ll enjoy clinical much more. It’s so relevant and makes so much more sense” but in me, I longed to remain in holidays. I know that once I get back here, I’ll miss home & friends & church more and more, I’ll be so exhausted by the clinical school schedule & rotation, I’ll be loaded by the amount of studies I needed to do & I’ve to go for my country rotation for 6 weeks.

In 5 weeks, I mourned 3 times for 3 departures. But during my stay in Adelaide, Wai Meng’s brother had an accident. What amazed me was, when we heard how serious his brother’s condition was, we sat down and prayed for his brother… and after we prayed for him, the very next day when CP contacted Wai Meng, he told CP that the brother responded and was conscious!!! Really praise God for His healing power. Really awesome to see the power of prayer as we come together as one accord!

This week is ending soon. PC, Kelvin & Sharon just left few days ago. Good to have them here in Melbourne. Gonna miss my IH Shakers & my UL members! Will miss the time we go to the park at midnight and hang out there. Well, just pray that God will prepare me greatly for clinical, not just in studies, but in influence, in being the salt & the light!

Adelaide sweet moments

Hillsong Conference 2007

Sydney 2007

Down Memory Lane

The front view of my school

It was a good Wednesday night outing with my high school friends. I’ve been spending lots of time with them these holidays. We decided to meet at our high school (St. John’s Institution) and start off our night from there.
We had dinner at Pizza Hut, went to Luna Bar for a drink, then mamak and finally went back to our school to collect my friend’s car. It was that moment Ken suggested “Let’s go in for a walk!” As we were walking towards the entrance, Ken was like saying, “Everywhere you go, there’s a Johannian. In my office there’s one.” Sern Liang added, “Yah, my first interviewer, he is a Johannian.” In my mind, I was thinking, that’s kinda true. I was checking out who’re the notable people these days that were brought up from the same background as I am.

-Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah Al-Haj ibni Almarhum Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah Al- Haj, Sultan of Selangor
-Raja Dr Nazrin Shah, Raja Muda (Crown Prince) of Perak
-Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia
-Datuk Hishammuddin Tun Hussein Onn, Education Minister of Malaysia
-Harith Iskandar, Actor, Comedian
-Hans Isaac, Actor

A year ago, the local newspaper has the habit of publishing successful Malaysians throughout the world, and when I was reading their education background, significant amount came from St. John. I feel proud to be brought up by a school so rich in its heritage. Most Johannians are all rounder. We are not known for our academic excellence, not these days at least, but one thing for sure, we are equipped in all areas, from studies to leadership, sports to societies; we are all rounder students!

As we were walking through the famous portico, I saw this sign:

We come with hope, we return with glory!

This statement is so true. Whenever someone asked me which school I am from, I’ll say it with pride “St. John’s Institution” I had such an amazing experience during my high school days, with a bunch of friends that still in touch, who I know still stand with me if I ever need help, and joyfully enjoy and love our school, I guess mainly for its heritage!

Menara KL from my school

Being back in KL this time made me appreciate my school days even more, especially my friends. I must admit that sometimes, I am too caught up with my schedule that I hardly keep in touch with them, or keep canceling appointments. But this time, God really reminded me of my friends, and how much I have to be there for them, and how much they need me. I’ll try my best to stay in touch with them, and to meet them whenever possible. Really thank them for their unfailing friendship all these years.

4 of us left-From R-L:-Ken, Iqram, SL & I

The end of the field where i used to play "Kejar-kejar"

Like old days!

6 hours seemed forever! It all started when I fetched Chris from LCCT (Air Asia Terminal Airport) and head straight to KLIA main terminal. It was great seeing him since January this year. We talked about life, church, spiritual growth, friends, practically anything and everything that came through our mind.

Told him about what Carolyn said to me, “You and Chris always argue about stuff. Last time was KL (which I so think it rocks like nobody’s business) & KK, now when you guys are in Australia it’s between Melbourne & Adelaide. It hasn’t stop!” As I continued by saying, “Maybe I future, we’re gonna compare between which hospital that we work in is the best, or what sorta specialization is better, or maybe who knows, who’s son is much more brilliant & handsome”

It’s never easy to find a like-minded friend, what more a like-minded friend who you can put down all your guards and share everything with him. It’s just amazing how God cross our paths. From acquaintance to close friends to spiritual brothers & now, best buddies!! Now that we are in different places in Australia, I really thank God that the distance didn’t nullify our friendship. We still keep in touch, we are as close as ever, we talk crap like before, we share faith & edify one another more, & of course never cease teasing one another! Can’t wait for the week that I’m gonna spend in Adelaide. Finally, we sorta can hang out together like old days.

Prov17: 17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity

YOU'RE DEFINITELY ONE!

BAD EXPERIENCE

MARK THIS MOMENT! IT’S TODAY!!!! Never again will I put on contact lenses. Today is my FIRST & LAST!!! I have no idea how so many people including my sister and my mum can survive with such a pain of putting on those 2 small little lenses and at the end of the day, casually take it without any struggle…

Took my sister ½ hr this afternoon to help me put on those lenses. After meeting my best friend, who thought I’ve use lenses for ages, I came home; wanting to take them out cause they are hurting my eyes. My eyes felt itchy and uneasy when the lenses were on, every now and then I sorta rub my eyes (I know I shouldn’t do that but it’s irritating) to relieve the discomfort that my eyes were experiencing.

I asked my mum & sister to help me remove those 2 lenses since they are the expert of contact lenses. Instructions kept firing out of their mouth “Look straight!!” “Look down!!” “Don’t blink!!” “Don’t move your eye ball!!” I was like, these are reflexes. Whenever you touch the eye ball, or my eye lid, your body will send a reflex to cause your eyes to shut as a protective mechanism! I tried every way, putting more solution into my eye, try to blink like gila babi, non stop trying to push my eye lid as far apart as possible… Finally after much struggle, and minutes of torture moments, they came off…

My eyes are now red and swollen… Slightly painful for the consistent trauma in such a short period of time. I told myself, as long as I’m still breathing, I’ll NEVER attempt a second time of using contact lenses. MARK MY WORDS!

Such a torture....

Fixing our eyes!

As I was praying and asking God what I should share with my initial LG core members, I was reminded by this part of gospel talking about Jesus walking over the water:-

Mat14:22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. 27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

Even before Peter began walking towards Jesus, notice in the passage that the waves and wind were there. The scripture never says that the wind only happen after Peter began walking towards Jesus. It shows that, even before accepting Christ, we are surrounded by challenges of life, “waves & wind” of life. More than just surrounded, we are buffeted by the wind and waves of life!!! A constant struggle that we face. But if we keep our eyes on God, like Peter, we will walk in a miraculous life (like Peter walking on the water), a journey of impossible cause God is with us. We will able to stand above all troubles and challenges, in fact we wouldn’t even notice the struggle we are going through.

But once we shift our gaze to the situation, to look at the wind of life, that’s when we began to “sink”. That’s when we feel stress, when life seems so out of control, where things are so overwhelming that sometimes it makes you feel breathless. And even when we stray away, remember to turn back. When Peter began to sink, he called out to Jesus, and IMMEDIATELY, Jesus reached out and caught him. Likewise, when we are choked by situation of life, we can always call out to our Father, and He will respond, and take you out of our situation. God is like a father who always looks after His child, always wanting the best for the child, and never wants to see the child getting hurt. Jesus is always looking after us, and we are always in His heart.

Let’s live a life focusing on God, fixing our eyes and aligning our thoughts to God! Why turn to the left or right and look at the situation that so choke us when we know that once we put our trust in Him, all troubles and problems will be gone. His yoke is light. Let’s trade ours for His!

A fulfilling week

It has been a week since I got back from Melbourne. I have to say that I didn’t roll around KLIA or kiss the ground of KL, but I’m really blessed to be back with my family, church, friends, car, ringgit, food, etc

What I’ve accomplished so far?
- Dim sum, beef noodles, mee rebus & cendol, baked cauliflower, KFC, McD, cheese naan, Milo kosong ais, wantan mee, nasi lemak, roti canai

My must-eat-list that yet to come…
- Yee mee soup, naan in ampang, ampang yong tau foo, fish ball noodles, American chilli, seafood noodles, Mongolian steamboat, bak kut teh, my tg tokong asam laksa & seafood (guess gotta postpone it again to end of this year)… definitely the list is longer but I just can’t think of any at the moment
- Since I’m going to Bangkok next week, looking forward to green curry, mango sticky rice, beef noodles, tom yam, more seafood, pat thai

Besides food, church is awesome. Remember when I first arrived church on Sunday, Ps Tim was at the door greeting people it was just good to see him again, and after coming into the sanctuary, PC was there! Church felt that same even after 4 months of not being in ECF. It felt as though I never left home.

I went for the Campus Champ meeting, and seeing Edwina grown so much despite the things that she’s going through made me felt assured, or like what Shawn said “big heart” to see the growth in her. Remember the time when we saw the desire in her to win the generation over for God, and the urgency we saw in equipping her as much as we could; and now, the fruitfulness in her, fruit that will last! Really reminded me of 1cor15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. This shows that we just have to be faithful in whatever we’re doing, and God will make things beautiful in His time. I’m excited to meet up with them next week, to share with them the journey in Melbourne, what God taught me along the way.

Besides seeing Edwina, really impacted by what PC shared about being a leader. If we as light is as dim as darkness, how can be bring light into darkness… That really struck me. How can we shine and stand firm in God’s truth if we ourselves have things that hinder or stopping us from being what God wants us to be? How can we lead others to the light if we ourselves are not the living example of the gospel that we proclaim? This made me really look into my life, to see if there’s anything that I need to crucify it on the cross, to come to God to repent, and let the word of God be heavy in my heart.

My cell group leader in Melbourne shared with me once, that in Ephesians6, it talks about the armor of God, and the only thing that God gave us as weapon is the “Sword of Spirit” and as I was doing my devotion, I came about gal5: 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. This verse speaks for itself.

Besides that, really appreciate the time spent with Shawn and Steven, and looking forward to have more time with the leaders next week. It is always an honour to spend moments with them, as what I gain is more than what I give. Hearing their visions, their passions that God has dropped into their heart, and how God has used them mightily in ministry really encourage and stir me.

Nevertheless, the lunch time with my high school friends; meeting up with Kenn; spending time mamaking with Jenny, Jay & Chu; movie outing with my Makan Club members; all of that are awesome time spent! Went to KLCC 3 times last week, to shop and to look for more clothes, but sadly speaking, I can’t find anything desirable. Don’t know if Melbourne has bleach my passion for clothing, but I’m not gonna give up. 2 weeks more to fulfill my shopping so that I can bring more clothes back.

These are all my thoughts and what I did for my first week back in KL… 2 weeks to go, hope it’ll be more exciting! Looking forward to Bangkok where I can spend great quality time with my family...

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom!

Liberty… that’s what I’m experiencing now. It’s amazing how 4 months have zoom passed and now I’m heading back to KL again! As I was writing robotically for my last paper yesterday, deep in my heart I was rejoicing. I was cheering that I’m actually returning to KL, the land filled with milk and honey. There isn’t much feeling of sorrows leaving Melbourne, maybe because I know I will return in a month’s time, but yah!

But I really wanna honour God for everything; for all that He has done, pulling me through the moments in Melbourne, giving me love and covering by sending friends crossing my path, providing me with strength and peace as I struggle with my exams, giving me an opportunity to go home to my family this holidays. This is totally unexpected because I remember vividly what I said beginning this year, “I’ll go Hillsong, travel and will only go home end of this year since air tickets are expensive” but well, God opens doorS! He allows everything to happen, and a reasonable price ticket to fly home. AUD875 Melb-KL-Syd… Praise Him for that man!

Today, as usual I’ll do my devotion after breakfast, but I ask God what word He will give me, because I want to read on something about praising Him, about He’s deliverance and power… So as I was flipping through the bible, Psalms105 came into the picture and as I began to read the first verse, it captured me entirely!

Psalm 105
1 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
2 Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
3 Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
4 Look to the LORD and his strength;seek his face always.

My feelings are all summed in these verses. All I want to do is to give thanks to Him, to shout His praises and rejoice in His deliverance. His strength sustains me, His love endures forever, He will be with me, He will watch over me, He will not leave me until He is done with what He has promised me! (Gen28:15) It’s just amazing to know that I’m always in His heart, and He cares so much for me! I just finished up my devotion by listening to Chris Tomlin-Forever… His love endures forever!

Press On!!!!

You guys must be wondering what’s wrong with me… I just should sitting down, trying my very best to study for my exams on Tuesday. It’s finally here. The exams. EOS 5 again! Stress level should be there, but I never seem to feel it. Maybe it is peace. Maybe I just wanna get it over and done with. Or it might be due to distraction. Whatever it is, I certainly don’t know what my exams emotion is now. Was talking to my friend yesterday, and we both came to conclusion that I am stress somehow because I am not stress for exams. This is bad.

But today, I woke up and the first time (10 am) that came into my mind was “This time next Sunday, I’ll be on the grounds of KUALA LUMPUR, my inheritance that was given to me.” In my mind I was going “YES YES YES YES!!!” The very thing that kept me persevering through my exams despite how dreadful it is is God’s grace & strength, and the picture of my home set as my desktop background. Everyday I go around telling people “I’m going back next week! I’ll be in KL on Sunday the 10th!!” I reckon my friends must be so irritated listening to me chanting these sentences restlessly… I can’t explain how much longing I have for home, for my family, for church & friends… It is just my territory, my inheritance God given unto me; it is the place where I grew up, where I was changed and had my first encounter with God. I was shaped to be what I am today.

I can imagine myself jumping with joy once I step down KLIA, if the authority permits; I’ll just roll all over the ground of KLIA all the way to the entrance… (Just kidding, just wanna emphasize the joy I’m experiencing) I’ll be running towards the entrance embracing my family. I can imagine my dad driving us to one of the usual breakfast stall that I love. In my mind, the picture of a warm bowl of whatever noodles is sitting right in front of me, waiting for me to eat it fully! I then can imagine myself stepping in front of my driveway, walking towards the door while brushing my hand through cars. I’ll be in a tachycardic mood as I step through my living room, trying to capture if there’s any changes or new stuff that my parents bought. I can imagine myself fixing my eyes on the Astro remote control, which I know I miss clicking it everyday. I believe I will joyfully run to my bedroom, throwing my entire haversack on the floor & jump straight to my bed, trying to find the comfort that my bed has always provide me. If my sister is in her room sleeping, I know I will go to her room, trying to disturb her by waking her up like I always do. I can picture her irritated face, trying to push me off and yell at me to get out of her room!!! And after all the moments, I can see myself preparing to go to the 11am service in church in my black Jazz, and as I drive, I’ll be capturing every moment of not needing to walk for at least 20days. As I step through my church entrance I know I’ll be embraced by all the familiar faces that I miss so much. J

All these thoughts are running wild in my mind now… I can’t stop thinking, all I need now is to stay focus, & persevere for another week. Days go by really quickly, but I hope that the 20days in KL will be enough to build another greater level of relationships with people around me.

Til then, I just need to press on!

Consider it pure joy!!

Semester 5 exam is coming soon. I can’t believe it but this is my second time taking a EOS5 paper, in a different country & setting, but nevertheless, it’s the last pre-clinical exam before entering clinical years. I can still remember the traumatic experience that I had 5 months ago. It was so vivid that I can’t possibly forget about it. I can still remember clearly my conversation with Chuen(which now known as Chu) about how unbearable it is to remember the entire 2 years of knowledge in IMU, and only God can pull as through EOS 5.

But EOS 5 in Melbourne University is totally a different thing. It is just about semester 5 knowledge. Sounds easy eh? Considering the fact it’s about Immunology, Microbiology & Oncology… Stuff that I’ve gone through in IMU in Semester 2. After 14 weeks of lectures on these areas, I began to realize how unfamiliar I am with Viruses, Genetics, Chemotherapy, and Radiology… stuff that is research based. In addition to this “wonderful” branch of medicine that I hope I won’t specialize in, I am drown with issues on Health Practice. Stuff that I somehow can’t find a reason to have interest in. After all, I only wanna be a clinician, surgeon if possible.

Having gone through 3 class tests & receiving marks that are marginal to the class mean, things began to start building up. Having to cope with the lack of interest in these areas of medicine, I gotta force myself to memorise the huge amount of genes, viruses’ replication methods, the principles of chemotherapies & molecular basis of cancer. As exam period drawing closer, things began to pile up. I started to feel the tension. My panic button beeps urgently. I ran out of options. In the midst of all these, God reminded me pro4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

His love endures forever. His word stay strong; it is sharper than a double-edged sword-it doesn’t return void. He made the impossible possible. He is the author & perfector of my faith. He has plans to proper me. He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides. He said “It is finished”. He is my refuge & strength. I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty & freedom. He is the Prince of Peace.

Psa23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Isa40: 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I can approach His throne of grace with confidence that I will receive mercy & find grace to help me in time of needs (Heb4:16). I should live in victory, I shouldn’t let the thoughts that is not of God disturbs me. I should align my thoughts to His thoughts, knowing that He who promises is faithful (Heb10:23). Rom8:31If God is for me, who shall be against me.

Gonna live through my revision week in victory. I’m playing my role as a student, doing my best to revise & trusting God for the rest. I’m not gonna view God in my own limited mind, but pressing onto Him to see breakthrough in my exams. I thank Him abundantly for blessing me with such an amazing friends. Although they are far apart, but somehow someway, when I need encouragement, they call at the right time. He never left me alone, but continuously to provide His source of strength. It’s very comforting all the time to know that I am always in His heart. He is thinking of me all the time. Not gonna live a moment without His presence in me!

Hide me now

Under your wings

Cover me

within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know his power
In quietness and trust

Memoirs!

Emotion!

Recently I’ve been posted to West Heidelberg to do my general practitioner visits in a community clinic. But let me tell you a lil about the socio-economic status of the community there. After 3 visits, I noticed that most of the people living at the area are older age groups, not working or retiree, staying in their houses alone. Some are abandoned by their own children, while others are just plain lonely. As for youngsters aged 20-40 years, they usually present with depression and/or on drugs. The doctors here dispense diazepam (sedatives-thanks to ian for reminding me ;-) ) & methadone (a program for drug addicts) more than they dispense anti-hypertensive or oral hypoglycemic drugs. But what grips me today was a consult made by a 21 years old man.

A man of my age generally is on his way of achieving his goals of life. Running towards the dream he dreamt since young. Or some are beginning to step into the market world, working for their living. But when I saw this case, diazepam and methadone caught my attention again. In my mind I was thinking, “Oh no! A man of my age that is living his life like that!” I was crushed. I felt so bad seeing a life of a champion going into waste.

When he came into the consultation room, I see this tall, mighty man looking tough externally but his gait and emotion written on his face betray his exterior look. Every step he made was a step of uncertainty, and his eyes were looking down, afraid…

The reason for this visit is was to get a mental health assessment so that he can be referred to a specialist.

My doctor began by asking, “Tell me more about your family”

He hesitated for a while and then said, “Must I talk about this? I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Then my doctor asked about his education and when he started taking drugs and so on. He said he stopped schooling at year 9 when he started taking drugs. As the conversation went by, he was looking down; feeling a lil uneasy and anxious; kept playing with his phone and avoiding any eye contact with us. He told us that he is currently on a disability pension and it helps to pay his flat. He is unemployed at the moment and trying his best to stop drugs and smoking. We did a mental assessment and he falls into the severe category.

Throughout the conversation we had with him, I sense despair in his voice, I sense lack of hopelessness and worthlessness. I sense a need and hunger that he has for something, but that something cannot be found. He is striving to change, and struggling with the past at the same time.

My doctor asked us, “Describe his affect (appearance and look)” & “Do you think he is depress?”

I can’t bring myself to answer those questions. I felt that it’s inappropriate to say it in front of him, especially when he is in a fragile state. The bible says in prov18:21the tongue has the power of life & death. Whatever that we say has an effect on the recipient. With his current state, I don’t think it’s the right time to magnify his condition. Say I'm in that situation, the last thing i wanna hear is to echo my current position. I would wanna ear people edifying me, comforting & strengthening me. We should speak the language of hope, language of love, language of faith… Whatever that is good, speak it! He needs to hear these languages, not about depress, not about anxious, but about LOVE!!!

I excused myself and leave early to see if I could bum into him somehow. In my heart, I was asking God to bring peace into his life, was praying that His love and comfort cover him. Hope that he will fall into God’s arms and not others. This guy needs hope, and all I can think of at this moment was God. Only His love can bring deliverance. His love can bring victory in all adversities. 1Jon4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

Only His love can conquer everything!!!!! Lord, give him a tangible heart! & let Your presence be so vivid to him. Let him not escape from Your love! Surely Your hand is not too short to save, nor Your ears too dull to hear.

You said You come for those who need You…

PlanetUni Camp 2007

IH ball 2007

Celebrate Him!

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the bright an morning star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what you've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who you are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still you hear me when I'm calling

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling

And you've told me who I am

I am yours, I am yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again

Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me

I am yours

Whom shall I fear Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am yours

I am yours

A victorious moment; the moment where all walls were torn apart, all gaps bridged, freedom and liberation can be experienced. The power of resurrection of Christ that brings us back to God!

It is a fact that Jesus Christ existed! Historians, scriptures, religions claimed that. Even our calendar revolves what the Bible said. The 7th day is a Sabbath day, and our world today, Sunday is when everyone takes a break, rest, recuperate, most don’t work, spend time with love ones. Whether they go to church or not, it is a “Sabbath day” for them. Nevertheless, B.C. & A.D. that we read in books, it stands for “Before Christ” & “After Death”. Jesus is center point of everything. He is living and active today! We live in Him today. But, do we? Or we just take Him for granted? Or even deny or doubt His existence?

Ever wonder why He took so much trouble 2000 years ago; going around telling people about the coming of salvation for men. People at that time were not all that believing, some embrace Him, but others mock Him and trying to plot a way to eliminate Him. Who in the world will endure so much pains and stripes for a punishment that he did not commit? Who will go through so much trouble, pain & torture for a purpose? Jesus did. He went through everything not for Himself, but for US! Yes, this 2 alphabet, U S =US! He endured the cross so that by His resurrection, we can be united with God! We can go back to Him! We would no longer have eternal separation which leads to death, but we have eternal life, where we are with God in His Kingdom!

Titus3:3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

He did it for us. By His stripes we are healed! Being Almighty God, He can just speak and all men will turn to Him, everyone will follow Him & no one can cause a wound on Him. But Jesus didn’t do that, rather He became one of us, and walks through human life and end up on the cross! All for us!

Think again, who would do that? And if you are God, seeing your Son enduring so much pain and suffering, how would you feel? It is normal for parents to take upon their child’s suffering; they wanna protect their child from injuries and harm. But God didn’t. God endures a greater pain to see His Son on the cross. If you are a parent, or wanna parent a child in future, imagine this situation. Which is of greater pain? To see your love ones suffer or you take upon the suffering on behalf of your love ones?

This is Easter. A celebration not of Easter eggs, not a moment where we all spend time eating yummy cute little chocolates made into a bunny, but it is a celebration and thanksgiving and honor and praise to resurrection of Christ. It is a time where we reflect God’s grace & mercy for us. The world has dilute the true meaning of Easter, but let us step back from the heights and fun of the worldly pleasure and quiet our hearts to reflect and rekindle our joy of salvation!

Faith Prayer!

James5: 13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. 18 And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.

Shared this during prayer meeting that day. I intended to share something about our “spiritual well” or “Jesus pruning our branches” but as I was flipping through the Bible, I was attracted to these verses. In the first part of the verse,

13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms.

We should not only pray during our times of need, but we should pray & sing songs of praise when we are joyful. Often, we tend to only seek God when we are in trouble, when things go out of hand, but we never honor God or give thanks to Him during our happy moments, when we are blessed, when we are in our comfort zone. We somehow forget that the joys and laughter and blessings came from God, and not ourselves. This verse says we should make prayer our lifestyle. Not at a certain situation, but at all times. God communicates with us via the Bible, but we communicate with God via our prayer. Often, when we spend time talking to friends, we are building a stronger relationship with them. Same thing with God. If we can devote so much time to our spouses, studies, leisure, sports, food… more time should be devoted to our Father in heaven, who created us and gave up everything to have us united with Him! In the Bible, the book psalms is filled with songs of praise, worship and confession for God! Let every word that come out of our heart be seasoned with words that exalt and honor God for every situations and moments that He has put in our lives.

15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up.


Sometimes, when we pray, we don’t see immediate healing. But that doesn’t mean we should stop praying. See that, we have to pray first, and then God will act accordingly. God can just make an action without us needing to ask, but God wants us to pray first. Not just merely praying, but a prayer offer in faith. Although we don’t see immediate healing, but our prayer in faith somehow stirs our spirit, gives us assurance, makes us feel better, gives us support or edifies our faith. Our prayer is actually part of God’s healing process!

16… The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

What a strong verse. A prayer of a righteous man is powerful & effective. We don’t just pray in faith, but we pray strong! It doesn’t mean we are shouting out our prayers, but every word that comes out from our mouth must be spoken in faith & with strong beliefs that God is hearing and answering our prayer. It avails much!!!!! We are righteous by the blood our Christ, our prayer is gonna make an impact!

17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. 18 And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.

When we say Elijah, what comes into our mind? Many will remember that he’s the prophet who calls for the rain and God sent rain right. This verse says, he is a man with a nature like ours, he is just like us, but the verse continues to say “he prayed earnestly”!!! We should look at Elijah’s relationship with God. God didn’t reveal Himself to Elijah in a powerful and miraculous way, like a burning bush but God reveals Himself to him in a gentle whisper (1king19:11-13) Many times, we are so caught up with our daily routine and busy schedule that we missed what God wanna speak to us, God also speak in the quietness of our hearts. We should step back from heightened situations in our busy lives and listen humbly with a quiet heart to God’s guidance.

It has been a while since we started this prayer meeting. Initially with 5, now the numbers doubled. We meet every sun night and pray corporately as prayer in agreement brings power! Looking for more times where we can edify each other and intercede for people in IH. Gonna set a different culture here in IH, a culture not built by the world, but built by God!