My flesh & heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever!


Sunday, August 24, 2008

He comforts me!

Been in peadiatrics rotation for 4 weeks now. Seriously, I’m considering it as a carrier option 2nd to General Surgery. Kids are just so wonderful. Even though they are not well, they are jumping around, feeling happy, just playing… It is such a “naïve” yet pure attitude. As long as their parents are there with them, they are comforted! Just sitting at their parents’ lap, hugging them & having their parents carrying them around or sleep with them – that’s enough! They feel safe in their parents’ presence!

What about us? Do we find comfort from our Father in heaven? Or do we seek comfort elsewhere – friends, partners, studies, success, items, video games, tv… Well these stuff offer temporal comfort & relaxation, but do we want something temporal or something eternal? A comfort that will last, that never fades nor empties, that is constantly fresh & overflowing???

2cor1: 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

But this verse says God is a God of compassion – He understands what we go through, what we face, how we feel, how many challenges we have to overcome – He feels for us, & not just that, He has a solution!!! Cause He is a God of all comfort!! The word here is ALL!!! A-L-L!!! This means, He has all the solution!!! All we need to do is be like a child, sit on His lap, embrace Him, rest in His hands, and let Him take your weight, let Him pat your back…

He called us children… but do we acknowledge Him as our Father?

Friday, August 01, 2008

This is Our Story, This is Our Song!

Due to popular demand (popular being loosely defined as 2 requests), Wen Hao and I have decided to share a bit about the journey which ultimately led to Facebook presenting us as “in a relationship”. Ah, the joys of facebook. The number of congratulatory wall posts we received 1.2 seconds after our changes in status were flattering indeed and thus we feel it is only fair that we give the 2 people what they want (our story).

Seriously though, the reason we’ve decided to do this is really to give thanks to God without which none of this would have happened. As we sat back and reflected (along the banks of Torrens River, pausing every 30 seconds to protect [me : “WARGH IT IS GOING TO PECK ME SAVE THE MUFFINS!!– because they are awesome” wh : “SHOO!” *does not work so we move to another patch of grass* X3 ] our muffins and ourselves from black swans and pigeons ahh sweet memories indeed) on 5 years of friendship prior to this, we couldn’t help but marvel at how much we’ve grown as individuals, at how we never quite expected this to happen and yet it did at just the right time. We’ve each had our own fair share of living, tainted with experiences good and bad. And through it all, we see God’s hand at work guiding our every step just as He continues to do today. A lot of life’s lessons we learn in retrospect, and though we know we have a long way to go as far as this relationship is concerned, our hope is that by sharing some of the things we’ve learnt and experienced thus far, you dear reader, will be blessed and most importantly, that we will be able to give God the glory that He fully deserves.

The Beginning

We cannot quite pinpoint when things started to change between us. All we know is that sometime in the beginning of this year, something changed.

Chuen – And to be quite honest, I freaked out a little for no other reason than the fact that this was him. We’d been good friends for so long and were pretty good at it too. We always joke about how our friendship started over a cup of bubble tea. Which is a story for another day. (It basically involved him thinking I was a nutjob whose only highlight of the day apart from making it to class on time without getting a parking ticket in the process was bubble tea from MAC Centre.) But I digress. Maybe it was because I suddenly realized that hey, here’s a guy, one of my best friends, who shares my interests, listens, encourages and best of all, shares my heart when it comes to the things of God. Everything I’ve always wanted and prayed for in a man. My man, to be specific. Experience has taught me to never act on anything (especially something of this magnitude) without first thinking and praying it through. That and also the fact that when it comes to love and relationships I come from the 19th century school of thought where chivalry was the norm and girls were meant to be seen not heard, the pursued and not the pursuer. And so I did (thought and prayed that is)

I can’t possibly continue this without first saying that the past 18 months in Adelaide have possibly been the best yet in terms of my walk with God. I’d like to think of 2007 as my Year of Self Discovery. Where God brought me on a journey that started right from the basics of my Christian faith. Where He reminded me once again of my identity as a Child of the Most High God. That I was created with love, and made for a purpose. That though life on earth will never be without trouble, through even the worst of times, God’s love for me will never change, His power absolute. With that said, I prayed (and ok, questioned as well because I was naturally worried that this was just a passing thing) and distinctly remembered telling God that my conviction lies in the fact that He loves me, knows my heart and therefore knows just the right one for me. And that was that. I was very deliberate about telling no one in the beginning for a few reasons, chief of which were – I had to at least be sure of what I was feeling and I really just wanted to hopefully hear from God without any external influence that may subconsciously affect my view of things. Understand that I am in no way propagating that we are our best counsels and that accountability bears no importance. I have to stress that this was during the earliest possible stage of our whole (or rather mine at this point) journey. Think of it as the equivalent of the blastocyst stage in the human embryonic development. (yikes just realized what a totally geeky analogy that was. Obs and gynae was my last big rotation la ok) So anyway, not long after, I shared this with someone whom I knew would pray along with me. And so we did.

Wen Hao - I am constantly reminded of the time in A Levels where we were waiting for our lab session to start. It was noon time and at that moment I began to spark a conversation with her – the girl who was always running late for classes yet always managed to grab hold of a bubble tea in between classes.

Little did I know of what would happen from A Levels to IMU to now – she’s continuing her medical degree in Adelaide & I am in Melbourne. Our relationship grew from mere classmates to close friends to best friends – where we share hearts & thoughts together, and now God has put us in a journey of courtship. I’m truly blessed by our courtship now. I remember the early days in college when I had a crush on her, but she was attached to a friend from church, and the feelings faded away. Although their relationship ended more than a year ago, it was never in my mind that it is possible to take our friendship to another level – simply because we were so close. But God had another plan in His mind, & I thank Him so much for bringing us through a personal journey of discovering each other since early this year. I was told by a friend that if we each fixed our eyes on God, it will be like a triangle, and we will soon meet under His covering! But if we fix our eyes on each other, we will leave God out of the triangle & we step out of His canopy of love. After all, He is love & only in Him, will we truly understand & discover the real meaning of love.

The In-Between

Chuen – Picking up where I left off, I was at this stage still doing what I knew best to do. Praying and constantly reminding myself that if this was something approved by God, all I had to do was continue seeking Him and allowing Him to speak into my life. (Bear in mind that up to this stage and actually right till the end, none of us had mentioned anything regarding the issue of “us” for, as we later found out, much the same reason – we didn’t want to ignite anything prematurely or in wh’s words, “let my heart rule over my head”) I truly thank God for showing me through relevant people in the bible that every God ordained journey no matter what the destination always, always, starts, continues and ends with growth. So no matter what the outcome, we still win. With that in mind, I made the decision to focus and pray not for the end result, but rather to fix my thoughts and eyes on Jesus, the One in whom my total dependence lies. Where 2007 was my Year of Self Discovery, 2008 so far has been and I believe will continue to be my Year of Revelation. It’s amazing how many things I’ve learnt over the past year through my own time with God, church, connect group and just life, in general. It’s like everywhere I turn, I feel God revealing something to me in the form of new perspectives and revelations, to name a few. My faith has been stirred and challenged on so many levels that at times it’s all I can do to keep from bursting into song and praise at the grace and power of my God.

Wen Hao – Throughout these 5 years, our friendship has grown from strength to strength. In the early days I wasn’t a Christian, and I remember the times when she tried to share with me how amazing God’s love is (but I was not convinced by it. You see, I grew up in a Buddhist family – even then I did not practice that religion). This perception shifted mid 2004 when I accepted Jesus into my life. I remember calling her that night and hearing her screaming with joy on the other side of the line just tells me how much my salvation brings gladness & joy to her. In the early days, when my parents found out I accepted Christ they were upset about the decision. The response wasn’t what I’d expected – instead of rejoicing with me, there were arguments & I remember the times where she & Chris stood by me – constantly comforting me & helping me to lean more on God & believing God will open my parents’ hearts.

True enough, now seeing how my parents allow & encourage me to be involved in church, and hearing them saying “God bless!” & asking me about church when I was in Melbourne, the testimony stands strongly that God has shifted my family’s heart to a new dimension. Sometime this year, at camp God gave me a personal vision of my family’s salvation, and I called her immediately, & hearing her say “I’ve been praying for your family since day 1” touched my heart immensely. I thank God for such a faithful & loving friend!

The feelings started early this year. In fact it was triggered by my friend saying “You want your best friend to be your partner” & having Chris saying “If you have a girlfriend in the future, both of you can’t be as close anymore.” I prayed about it, and said to myself, “I’ll wait till mid April to decide”… I spent time asking leaders & considering their advice, reading books about courtship, fasting & praying about this relationship. Throughout this period, we stayed in touch via the internet & phone, and somehow got even closer. At the same time, she mentioned that there’s someone in her heart & she has been praying about him. Inside me, I sorta “guess” it was me since she never wanted to reveal who this person really is (that’s really unlikely for her since we share a lot together) We agreed to reveal it to each other when we meet again… Come April, a friend advised me to wait till I go over to Adelaide in July. I decided to take that step & prayerfully hoped that God would groom us to complement each other and grow us to be mature enough to enter into a courtship. AND HE DID IT FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!

The Now

Wen Hao - It is 7.30am as I land in Adelaide for the 2nd time. It is Tuesday morning, and I can see many different people walking around – some rushing off for business meetings, some returning home from trips & others are like me, visiting! While waiting for her, my thoughts brought me to the phone call I made to KL the night before. I told my parents I was going to ask hers. Although mum said it’s unnecessary, since relationship only involves 2 parties, but I felt it was essential – knowing that her family loves her alot; and it matters to ask for their blessings. Thank God for the APPROVAL! – I passed the most difficult stage J (Chuen : Earning 100 brownie points from the parents in the process)

I never really came out with ideas or a “plan” as to how I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend. In my heart, I knew the moment was gonna come naturally during my stay in Adelaide. I intended to ask her the following morning over breakfast, since she decided to make pancakes – by the way, it’s the BEST pancakes I’ve had! No doubt!!! (Chuen : HAH TAKE THAT CHUN PENG! HAHA ) It didn’t really work out (Chuen : for reasons that will remain between the Villagers and Chun Peng HAHA), but as I was flipping through the Adelaide map over breakfast, I realized there was a botanical garden over there. She suggested we should drop by after her hospital visit, and I felt that was it!!! So, while cruising along the evening lights at the garden, we brought up the commitment that we had & I told her the person that I’ve been praying about is her! And that’s how it started! A side bench at botanical gardens during a beautiful evening setting in Adelaide town!!! Something that she said stayed in my heart, “Even if you had asked me in April, I would have said “yes”, but I know it won’t be the same as this time. The wait was worth it!” Now I know the time is right! I am at peace about this decision, my leaders & our parents have given their blessings, & friends who know us well congratulate us… It tells me the time is right! Even as we reflect on our friendship over the years as we had breakfast along Torrens River, we agreed that God’s preparation & timing is perfect. It’s our core belief that God is gonna be in the centre of this relationship & we hope that our journey can be a compass that points our friends to Jesus – the Author & Perfector of our faith!

Chuen - So yea, fast forward a few months and here we are. We look back and rejoice over what we have now and all that we have learnt and grown into in the process. Our journeys individual and together are far from over and just like how we surrendered our lives to God the day we made the decision to live for Him and not ourselves, we surrender this too. We may not know what the future holds, but we know and fully trust in the One who does. So at this juncture, what do we do knowing that we’ve only just begun, believing that greater things are yet to come yet acknowledging that our future lies not in our hands? We stick to what we know to do – to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. We entrust and surrender our lives daily to the One who knows our inmost being and loved us enough to suffer for our sins, loving us still today and we try as best we can to live our lives according to the purposes of God hoping that in the process, people may look at us individually and together as living testimonies of God’s love and grace. Because we’ve had a taste of how God has touched and changed our lives and believe that in the same way, God can turn your world around too.

So this is our story, this is our song. We’re praising our Saviour, all the day long!