My flesh & heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever!


Saturday, February 25, 2006

Eye opener!!

“Retractor… Gauze”

“Beep… Beep… Beep…”

“Wash… Suction…”

Those are the sounds you will hear when you are in the operation theatre (OT). For the past few days I’ve been posted to the Breast & Endocrine Department of Surgery in General Hospital KL. It was an awesome experience. Following doctors and hearing them attending patients and discussing cases among one another, really opened a new door into my life as a medical student. And you know you have that kind of thinking that government doctors being lousy, crappy, non-caring, just wanna clear off their patients… Well, the doctors that I tagged along aren’t like that at all. They are very nice and patient to their patients.

One of the housemen was kind enough to show me the proper way of examining a woman’s breast and allow me to “practice” (so to speak) on some of the patients. I got a chance to palpate a lumpy breast, which was kinda cool. The doctor explained and taught me a lot. As for the other doctors you may wonder, they totally ignore you. One thing I’ve learned, you must be super thick skin and ask them whatever that comes in your mind and follow them wherever they go. Even when they hinted that they want you to go away, you just act stupid and stick to them. This is how I’ve survived for the past few days with them. Whatever they say, pretend you didn’t get them and you have to swallow your pride when they said something unpleasant to you.

Hang out in the OT most of the time, checking their charts on which OT has interesting cases going on. Then we will just walk in & stand at the side & observe whatever the surgeons were doing. One of the surgeons from UPM was kind enough to guide us through the operation. I think I’ll just look for him whenever he has a surgery going on next week. Managed to see cases like mastectomy, herniotomy, gastro-jejunotomy, laparoscopic gastric carcinoma, laparoscopic cholecystectomy, rectal adenocarcinoma, total thyroidectomy, and fistula in anal operation. It was darn interesting to be able to see the anatomy “live” since IMU doesn’t provide us with any post-mortems, dissections and stuff. Only plain models which are so “helpful”.

Watching Grey’s Anatomy & being attached to a surgical department really draw my interest to become a surgeon one day. It is more exciting than being a consultant or normal physician. And you don’t have to wear formal clothes & shoes with tie. Just the normal blue surgical attire which is so comfortable. J One thing bad about this is, you have stand for hours. At the end of the day, you can barely feel your legs. Have one week to go. Hope there will be more actions going on in GHKL!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The truth vs another opinion...

You guys must be wondering, what is this all about. Is this another post about Christ again? Well, I can’t help it, because my life revolves around Him. Listen, many have said:

“How sure are you the Bible is true? Why can’t it be another opinion since it was written by human beings?”

“Don’t you think that there’s a possibility that the Bible is another book that some people compiled to try to win others to listen to the compiler?”

“If J. K. Rowling was born 2000 years ago & write 6 books of Harry Potter, don’t you think that she will be as famous as Jesus Christ, & every reader will believe what she says in the book?”

“Okay, I may agree that Jesus did a great job, saving us from sins. He has a nice heart, but how can you be sure that He is God?”

“If someone is able to go back to the past, & try to talk to the people then about the life now or try to spread some propaganda, do you think they will believe him as God like how they believe Jesus’ disciples when they tried to tell them about salvation?”

“Let’s say that in future, there is another someone who comes up and tells us that he is the truth and he is “God”, will you believe him and follow him? If you think he is wrong, how can you be so sure? Can’t the Bible be wrong too? It might be….”


See, the questions will continue to come up, whether you like it or not. People will start questioning your faith, will start asking about existence, and will insist that the Truth must be proven scientifically. I came from that background too. Being once an atheist, I always mock my friends who are trying to share with me. Somehow someway, I will be able to explain through what are they telling me about God. In the end, they realized that they came to a point that there is no point continuing to explain to me, and I have to experience God myself. Well, I told them I agree, and things came up which lead me to slowly begin to seek God and now, here I am.

2Tim3:16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. (NKJV)

Now guys, hear me out. Although the Bible is written by humans, but everything inside is God-breathed. I checked the word inspiration in dictionary.com and it means “divine guidance or influence exerted directly on the mind and soul of humankind”. I guess it explains it all. Plus, if you say it’s another opinion or some “brainwash book”, do you think God will allow something that is false to circulate throughout the years? Do you think He will allow something that is not right to reach us and mislead us? Think again before you start questioning back. For those who’ve read the Bible, is there anything inside it that leads you to destruction? Is there anything that tells you to do the wrong things? With a conscience mind, I’m sure you guys will know what is right and wrong, and so far the Bible hasn’t say anything besides the right way to live. And if there’s a single thing that is wrong in the Bible, I believe God will put a stop.

Furthermore, the Bible is written by witnesses of God. Take the New Testament for example, they are written by the first witnesses of Christ. James, Paul John, Matthew. They are all in Jesus’ time. If you think they did this just to win someone’s heart, or to be influential, you must be wrong. Do you know how much the first generation Christians went through when they were trying to spread the Truth? Some were prosecuted, some were jailed, and others were ridiculed. Jesus himself was crucified for spreading the Word of God. Do you think someone will just go through all those tortures just to win some influence from the people? Think again people. No one is that mental to do so. Unless, for other reasons. We were the reasons Jesus went through all those torture, so that we are reunited with God once again. He went through everything for our salvation.

Secondly, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. How can I be sure? Because God Himself claimed so.

Mat3:16 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

Someone asked me. If God is Almighty, and He loves us so much, why didn’t He send Jesus as soon as the first man sin? Why wait until 2000 years ago for Jesus to come? Well, we can’t measure God’s timing. His timing and ours aren’t the same. Plus, during those periods, God prepared His people for the coming Messiah. God sent many prophets to tell them to get ready. And don’t you think that 2000 years ago, it is just the perfect time for Jesus to come. It happened during the Roman’s civilization and when history is being recorded. Imagine if Jesus’ coming is way earlier, where there aren’t any substantial records of history, don’t you think it will create greater conflict today? Here it is, happened during Roman’s time not too long ago. God’s timing is never wrong. It is the right time for everything, for people to witness and experience God. My theory is “if you accept the Romans, why not Jesus!” J

There are so many “what ifs” around. People saying what if this, what if that. But here’s the thing, it is only “what if” and never more. God won’t allow those to happen. Until those what ifs begin to happen, this is my case, and here’s my stand. With God. The choice is ours, whether we choose to believe in Christ or not. God so loves us that He gave us the choice to choose. I’ve made mine, what’s yours?

John3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Just Do It!

It has been a long time since the previous post... here's another thought that i wanna share with you guys.. Past few days as i was going through the Bible, felt that this verse really hit me..
1cor2:
4My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, 5so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.
Here's the thing. being a new christian, there's a battle within us on whether we are "ready" to share with others about the Gospel, about God cause we think that we don't know much about the Bible, since we are new.. We are afraid that our words are not "powerful" enough to impact ppl...
But hey, Paul says that we shouldn't rely upon OUR WISDOM, but God's... He will give power to the words that are spoken. He will impact the ppl through us.. It is not by our strength, our wisdom, our abilities, our knowledge but it is by GOD'S POWER that whatever we shared is impactful; that it will make a place in the listener's heart. But this doesn't mean that we don't have to read the Bible, or to know more bout God. Rather, we should EQUIPPED this TOGETHER with the power of the Holy Spirit as we share with others about God.. The Bible says Holy Spirit will intercede for us...
So guys, common.. just share & trust that He will work out the rest! God bless! :-)

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

It's good to be back!

“Proper diet & regular exercise are essential for physical health. A man who doesn’t eat everyday will be weak. Proper diet & regular exercise are also the keys to spiritual growth & health. A man who doesn’t read God’s Word everyday will be weak. A man who never reads it will soon be dead. Our spiritual food is the Word of God & our spiritual exercise is obedience. We need both, EVERYDAY!”

“A baby deprived of milk will be weak & sick. Likewise, a Christian who ignores God’s Word will be weak as the Word of God helps a believer to grow strong in faith. If we exercise & lift weights, our muscle mass will increase. Same goes with faith. The more we hear & read the Bible, the more our faith will grow.”


All above spoke to me at once as I was preparing for discipleship on Monday. As I was going through the chapter on “The Bible”, I was reminded of my inconsistency in meditating God’s Word for the past few weeks. Running errands, meeting up with friends, “resting”, watching O.C., boring house-visits during festive season; after all these activities, I was all drained & tired. Whenever I tried to open the Bible, I’ll be so sleepy, that I made up my mind “No point I go on & read cause I’ll fall sleep”… These are my excuses for not having my quiet times with God. I’ve been telling myself “I’ll do it tomorrow before this and that… and I won’t watch all the downloaded shows” but well, these never happen, not until lately.

Then I began to collect every broken pieces of my distracted mind & spent an hour to read through the Bible. As always, I’ll read & end it with prayers. Once I’ve finished, I felt so refresh. Felt that God was calling me back home after the long hours of playing outside. After that night, I was even more excited to return to church on Saturday night.

Last Saturday, during worship, Shawn sang this song called “A Broken Spirit”

A broken spirit & a contrite heart
You will not despise, you will not despise
You desire truth in the inwards parts
A broken spirit & a contrite heart

Lord, my heart is prone to wander
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, Lord
Take & seal it
Seal it for Your courts above.



As I was just listening to this song, I felt that God embraced me with His presence. Felt that His comfort was there. Immediately, I felt ashamed & broke into tears. I asked for forgiveness. I told Him I don’t want to remain spiritually dried, I asked Him to refresh my spiritual well, I asked to be close to Him & to remain in His presence always. It’s like a child running back into his father’s arms after wandering around for sometime. Embracing His unfailing love. Lord, please guard my heart, seal it & protect it. Amen!