Consider it pure joy!!

Semester 5 exam is coming soon. I can’t believe it but this is my second time taking a EOS5 paper, in a different country & setting, but nevertheless, it’s the last pre-clinical exam before entering clinical years. I can still remember the traumatic experience that I had 5 months ago. It was so vivid that I can’t possibly forget about it. I can still remember clearly my conversation with Chuen(which now known as Chu) about how unbearable it is to remember the entire 2 years of knowledge in IMU, and only God can pull as through EOS 5.

But EOS 5 in Melbourne University is totally a different thing. It is just about semester 5 knowledge. Sounds easy eh? Considering the fact it’s about Immunology, Microbiology & Oncology… Stuff that I’ve gone through in IMU in Semester 2. After 14 weeks of lectures on these areas, I began to realize how unfamiliar I am with Viruses, Genetics, Chemotherapy, and Radiology… stuff that is research based. In addition to this “wonderful” branch of medicine that I hope I won’t specialize in, I am drown with issues on Health Practice. Stuff that I somehow can’t find a reason to have interest in. After all, I only wanna be a clinician, surgeon if possible.

Having gone through 3 class tests & receiving marks that are marginal to the class mean, things began to start building up. Having to cope with the lack of interest in these areas of medicine, I gotta force myself to memorise the huge amount of genes, viruses’ replication methods, the principles of chemotherapies & molecular basis of cancer. As exam period drawing closer, things began to pile up. I started to feel the tension. My panic button beeps urgently. I ran out of options. In the midst of all these, God reminded me pro4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

His love endures forever. His word stay strong; it is sharper than a double-edged sword-it doesn’t return void. He made the impossible possible. He is the author & perfector of my faith. He has plans to proper me. He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides. He said “It is finished”. He is my refuge & strength. I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty & freedom. He is the Prince of Peace.

Psa23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Isa40: 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I can approach His throne of grace with confidence that I will receive mercy & find grace to help me in time of needs (Heb4:16). I should live in victory, I shouldn’t let the thoughts that is not of God disturbs me. I should align my thoughts to His thoughts, knowing that He who promises is faithful (Heb10:23). Rom8:31If God is for me, who shall be against me.

Gonna live through my revision week in victory. I’m playing my role as a student, doing my best to revise & trusting God for the rest. I’m not gonna view God in my own limited mind, but pressing onto Him to see breakthrough in my exams. I thank Him abundantly for blessing me with such an amazing friends. Although they are far apart, but somehow someway, when I need encouragement, they call at the right time. He never left me alone, but continuously to provide His source of strength. It’s very comforting all the time to know that I am always in His heart. He is thinking of me all the time. Not gonna live a moment without His presence in me!

Hide me now

Under your wings

Cover me

within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know his power
In quietness and trust

Memoirs!

Emotion!

Recently I’ve been posted to West Heidelberg to do my general practitioner visits in a community clinic. But let me tell you a lil about the socio-economic status of the community there. After 3 visits, I noticed that most of the people living at the area are older age groups, not working or retiree, staying in their houses alone. Some are abandoned by their own children, while others are just plain lonely. As for youngsters aged 20-40 years, they usually present with depression and/or on drugs. The doctors here dispense diazepam (sedatives-thanks to ian for reminding me ;-) ) & methadone (a program for drug addicts) more than they dispense anti-hypertensive or oral hypoglycemic drugs. But what grips me today was a consult made by a 21 years old man.

A man of my age generally is on his way of achieving his goals of life. Running towards the dream he dreamt since young. Or some are beginning to step into the market world, working for their living. But when I saw this case, diazepam and methadone caught my attention again. In my mind I was thinking, “Oh no! A man of my age that is living his life like that!” I was crushed. I felt so bad seeing a life of a champion going into waste.

When he came into the consultation room, I see this tall, mighty man looking tough externally but his gait and emotion written on his face betray his exterior look. Every step he made was a step of uncertainty, and his eyes were looking down, afraid…

The reason for this visit is was to get a mental health assessment so that he can be referred to a specialist.

My doctor began by asking, “Tell me more about your family”

He hesitated for a while and then said, “Must I talk about this? I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Then my doctor asked about his education and when he started taking drugs and so on. He said he stopped schooling at year 9 when he started taking drugs. As the conversation went by, he was looking down; feeling a lil uneasy and anxious; kept playing with his phone and avoiding any eye contact with us. He told us that he is currently on a disability pension and it helps to pay his flat. He is unemployed at the moment and trying his best to stop drugs and smoking. We did a mental assessment and he falls into the severe category.

Throughout the conversation we had with him, I sense despair in his voice, I sense lack of hopelessness and worthlessness. I sense a need and hunger that he has for something, but that something cannot be found. He is striving to change, and struggling with the past at the same time.

My doctor asked us, “Describe his affect (appearance and look)” & “Do you think he is depress?”

I can’t bring myself to answer those questions. I felt that it’s inappropriate to say it in front of him, especially when he is in a fragile state. The bible says in prov18:21the tongue has the power of life & death. Whatever that we say has an effect on the recipient. With his current state, I don’t think it’s the right time to magnify his condition. Say I'm in that situation, the last thing i wanna hear is to echo my current position. I would wanna ear people edifying me, comforting & strengthening me. We should speak the language of hope, language of love, language of faith… Whatever that is good, speak it! He needs to hear these languages, not about depress, not about anxious, but about LOVE!!!

I excused myself and leave early to see if I could bum into him somehow. In my heart, I was asking God to bring peace into his life, was praying that His love and comfort cover him. Hope that he will fall into God’s arms and not others. This guy needs hope, and all I can think of at this moment was God. Only His love can bring deliverance. His love can bring victory in all adversities. 1Jon4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

Only His love can conquer everything!!!!! Lord, give him a tangible heart! & let Your presence be so vivid to him. Let him not escape from Your love! Surely Your hand is not too short to save, nor Your ears too dull to hear.

You said You come for those who need You…