Emotion!

Recently I’ve been posted to West Heidelberg to do my general practitioner visits in a community clinic. But let me tell you a lil about the socio-economic status of the community there. After 3 visits, I noticed that most of the people living at the area are older age groups, not working or retiree, staying in their houses alone. Some are abandoned by their own children, while others are just plain lonely. As for youngsters aged 20-40 years, they usually present with depression and/or on drugs. The doctors here dispense diazepam (sedatives-thanks to ian for reminding me ;-) ) & methadone (a program for drug addicts) more than they dispense anti-hypertensive or oral hypoglycemic drugs. But what grips me today was a consult made by a 21 years old man.

A man of my age generally is on his way of achieving his goals of life. Running towards the dream he dreamt since young. Or some are beginning to step into the market world, working for their living. But when I saw this case, diazepam and methadone caught my attention again. In my mind I was thinking, “Oh no! A man of my age that is living his life like that!” I was crushed. I felt so bad seeing a life of a champion going into waste.

When he came into the consultation room, I see this tall, mighty man looking tough externally but his gait and emotion written on his face betray his exterior look. Every step he made was a step of uncertainty, and his eyes were looking down, afraid…

The reason for this visit is was to get a mental health assessment so that he can be referred to a specialist.

My doctor began by asking, “Tell me more about your family”

He hesitated for a while and then said, “Must I talk about this? I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Then my doctor asked about his education and when he started taking drugs and so on. He said he stopped schooling at year 9 when he started taking drugs. As the conversation went by, he was looking down; feeling a lil uneasy and anxious; kept playing with his phone and avoiding any eye contact with us. He told us that he is currently on a disability pension and it helps to pay his flat. He is unemployed at the moment and trying his best to stop drugs and smoking. We did a mental assessment and he falls into the severe category.

Throughout the conversation we had with him, I sense despair in his voice, I sense lack of hopelessness and worthlessness. I sense a need and hunger that he has for something, but that something cannot be found. He is striving to change, and struggling with the past at the same time.

My doctor asked us, “Describe his affect (appearance and look)” & “Do you think he is depress?”

I can’t bring myself to answer those questions. I felt that it’s inappropriate to say it in front of him, especially when he is in a fragile state. The bible says in prov18:21the tongue has the power of life & death. Whatever that we say has an effect on the recipient. With his current state, I don’t think it’s the right time to magnify his condition. Say I'm in that situation, the last thing i wanna hear is to echo my current position. I would wanna ear people edifying me, comforting & strengthening me. We should speak the language of hope, language of love, language of faith… Whatever that is good, speak it! He needs to hear these languages, not about depress, not about anxious, but about LOVE!!!

I excused myself and leave early to see if I could bum into him somehow. In my heart, I was asking God to bring peace into his life, was praying that His love and comfort cover him. Hope that he will fall into God’s arms and not others. This guy needs hope, and all I can think of at this moment was God. Only His love can bring deliverance. His love can bring victory in all adversities. 1Jon4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

Only His love can conquer everything!!!!! Lord, give him a tangible heart! & let Your presence be so vivid to him. Let him not escape from Your love! Surely Your hand is not too short to save, nor Your ears too dull to hear.

You said You come for those who need You…