Everything seems so different. I never thought I had to rekindle my blog with such a post. But I believe there is a reason for this season.
Everything seems to ebb away when I found out my mum is in the hospital as soon as I landed in KL last Saturday. The joy of being back home from a terrible 19 weeks of clinical school vanished instantly. I was filled with sorrow; sadness overwhelmed me. I found out that mum had an 11cm mass in her ovary, and she is currently in the hospital, waiting for operation. Even as I was having my brekkie with my dad & sis, I was eating one of my fav hawker food, but somehow, that morning, my taste buds seemed to lost their function. The desire for all my fav food had fade away, and I was consumed my mum’s condition. In my heart, I can only cry out to Jesus. I don’t know who to cry out to. I don’t know who to perfect this condition besides Him. The world is spinning around with wars, riots, demonstrations, protests… the heart of mankind is always troubled by the things of the world – career, love, money, security, loneliness, depression, the list goes on. I myself am guilty of it sometimes. But at this very moment, I need God to be more evident in my family’s lives.
As I met with mum at the bed of hospital, my heart shrank in side. Seeing her in bed, holding on to her pain made me feel that someone is tearing my heart bit by bit. The slow agony of pain she is enduring yet having to need to put on a smile just to not to keep us worry made me want Jesus to come touch her instantly. In my heart, “Jesus, Jesus you are the only One who can set her free. You are the only One who can comfort her. You are the only One who brings the entire peace & keep us strong in one spirit. Lord the battle is Yours not hers.” I sat there at the corner helplessly, trying to answer every questions she asked about my happenings in Melbourne. I tried to contain my emotions as much as possible.
I came back, shut myself in the room, and try to do my morning devotion. But I can’t bring myself to read the Word. Tears just start flowing down as I play, asking God for another miracle in my life, and over my mum’s life. “She deserves better” is what was going through my mind. “Lord I just long for You to bring upon the impossible in her life right now”. As I went back to church for SNL, it was great to see everyone. It was good to be back in somewhere familiar after weeks of being away from it; but my heart was troubled by the mum’s condition. But as soon as Ps Tim mentioned this:
“Stop wondering, start worshipping”
There’s this shift in my heart. Stop worrying what’s next & start honouring God, start worshipping Him. He will make the path straight. Afterall, He is the mastermind of everything. Everything in life – whether good or bad are intended to be good in His eyes. There is a purpose for this situation to happen at this time. The story Peter walking on water began to come into my mind. A story I am familiar with, that I constantly tell others about. God is reminding me not to let the waves pull me down. He is telling me not to let the waves water down my faith. Mum is in His hands. I believe He will change the circumstances. He will change the bad to good. I was remembered by the verse in Malachi2:15… So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. The verse reminds me to continue to stir myself in spirit, to believe Him even more. He did the impossibles in the past, my life has been filled by His miracles. This time is no different. It is gonna come, and come at the perfect time. God works in miraculous ways. All I need to do is stay in faith & believe in Him for everything. Words can’t seem to describe how much I want my mum to be fine. How much longing I need God to come & extend His lovingkindness heart & gracious hand over her.
Thank you to the leaders and friends who are standing with me in prayer. But above all, thank You Jesus for being in control.
Everything seems to ebb away when I found out my mum is in the hospital as soon as I landed in KL last Saturday. The joy of being back home from a terrible 19 weeks of clinical school vanished instantly. I was filled with sorrow; sadness overwhelmed me. I found out that mum had an 11cm mass in her ovary, and she is currently in the hospital, waiting for operation. Even as I was having my brekkie with my dad & sis, I was eating one of my fav hawker food, but somehow, that morning, my taste buds seemed to lost their function. The desire for all my fav food had fade away, and I was consumed my mum’s condition. In my heart, I can only cry out to Jesus. I don’t know who to cry out to. I don’t know who to perfect this condition besides Him. The world is spinning around with wars, riots, demonstrations, protests… the heart of mankind is always troubled by the things of the world – career, love, money, security, loneliness, depression, the list goes on. I myself am guilty of it sometimes. But at this very moment, I need God to be more evident in my family’s lives.
As I met with mum at the bed of hospital, my heart shrank in side. Seeing her in bed, holding on to her pain made me feel that someone is tearing my heart bit by bit. The slow agony of pain she is enduring yet having to need to put on a smile just to not to keep us worry made me want Jesus to come touch her instantly. In my heart, “Jesus, Jesus you are the only One who can set her free. You are the only One who can comfort her. You are the only One who brings the entire peace & keep us strong in one spirit. Lord the battle is Yours not hers.” I sat there at the corner helplessly, trying to answer every questions she asked about my happenings in Melbourne. I tried to contain my emotions as much as possible.
I came back, shut myself in the room, and try to do my morning devotion. But I can’t bring myself to read the Word. Tears just start flowing down as I play, asking God for another miracle in my life, and over my mum’s life. “She deserves better” is what was going through my mind. “Lord I just long for You to bring upon the impossible in her life right now”. As I went back to church for SNL, it was great to see everyone. It was good to be back in somewhere familiar after weeks of being away from it; but my heart was troubled by the mum’s condition. But as soon as Ps Tim mentioned this:
“Stop wondering, start worshipping”
There’s this shift in my heart. Stop worrying what’s next & start honouring God, start worshipping Him. He will make the path straight. Afterall, He is the mastermind of everything. Everything in life – whether good or bad are intended to be good in His eyes. There is a purpose for this situation to happen at this time. The story Peter walking on water began to come into my mind. A story I am familiar with, that I constantly tell others about. God is reminding me not to let the waves pull me down. He is telling me not to let the waves water down my faith. Mum is in His hands. I believe He will change the circumstances. He will change the bad to good. I was remembered by the verse in Malachi2:15… So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. The verse reminds me to continue to stir myself in spirit, to believe Him even more. He did the impossibles in the past, my life has been filled by His miracles. This time is no different. It is gonna come, and come at the perfect time. God works in miraculous ways. All I need to do is stay in faith & believe in Him for everything. Words can’t seem to describe how much I want my mum to be fine. How much longing I need God to come & extend His lovingkindness heart & gracious hand over her.
Thank you to the leaders and friends who are standing with me in prayer. But above all, thank You Jesus for being in control.
But today…
Today is a PERFECT DAY!
PRAISE HIM FOR EVERYTHING!
Mum is scheduled for surgery today. Walked her til the theatre and the doctor said the surgery is expected to complete about 1 1/2hrs. So, we went out to grab some lunch. As we were waiting, dad received an urgent phone call from the hospital at about 45 minutes after we seen her. Our hearts pumped faster; anxious and nervous about the call and as to what sorta news the doctor wanna convey to us. We rushed into the theatre and the explanation began:
“We finished the operation. It was an unusual finding. The 11cm lesion we saw in the scan that we thought is a mass turned out to be an old blood clot the size of a coconut. Nothing cancerous found. The clot was due to a ruptured vessel nearby and this may be due to trauma. We cleared off the clot and send some for analysis. Her ovaries & uterus are retained and she is fine now.”
My heart was jumping with joy. Tears of joy started to flow. All praises to Him. All glory to Him. Thank God for such an amazing miracle. The unexpected happens, the impossible became possible, bad turned out good. God is gracious & merciful. His love surpasses all understanding & endures forever!
I was reminded of this scripture:-
Luke8: 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
Luke8:50Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."
This part of the scripture talks about Jesus healing a dead girl & a sick woman. In order for healing to take place, we gotta have faith & start believing. Fear has to leave for His miracle to come place. This weekend really taught me a lot about believing, about trusting God, about having greater faith in Him knowing that He will turn things around.
Believe that God is gonna oversee her recovery til she is as good as before! Thank You so much for taking care of us all.
With love,
Jonathan
Today is a PERFECT DAY!
PRAISE HIM FOR EVERYTHING!
Mum is scheduled for surgery today. Walked her til the theatre and the doctor said the surgery is expected to complete about 1 1/2hrs. So, we went out to grab some lunch. As we were waiting, dad received an urgent phone call from the hospital at about 45 minutes after we seen her. Our hearts pumped faster; anxious and nervous about the call and as to what sorta news the doctor wanna convey to us. We rushed into the theatre and the explanation began:
“We finished the operation. It was an unusual finding. The 11cm lesion we saw in the scan that we thought is a mass turned out to be an old blood clot the size of a coconut. Nothing cancerous found. The clot was due to a ruptured vessel nearby and this may be due to trauma. We cleared off the clot and send some for analysis. Her ovaries & uterus are retained and she is fine now.”
My heart was jumping with joy. Tears of joy started to flow. All praises to Him. All glory to Him. Thank God for such an amazing miracle. The unexpected happens, the impossible became possible, bad turned out good. God is gracious & merciful. His love surpasses all understanding & endures forever!
I was reminded of this scripture:-
Luke8: 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
Luke8:50Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."
This part of the scripture talks about Jesus healing a dead girl & a sick woman. In order for healing to take place, we gotta have faith & start believing. Fear has to leave for His miracle to come place. This weekend really taught me a lot about believing, about trusting God, about having greater faith in Him knowing that He will turn things around.
Believe that God is gonna oversee her recovery til she is as good as before! Thank You so much for taking care of us all.
With love,
Jonathan
5 comments:
wow. wen hao! amazing ... great!
thanks shawn... :-)
Praise God! Glad to hear everything is alright!
enjoy M'sia!
heheh.. thanks ch.. you enjoy yourself in barcelona too.. wipe off zara!!!
hey jon, i'm glad that your mum's fine! Praise God!
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