Thank You!

As 2007 is coming to an end, Ps Tim always helps the church to reflect how our year has been, and how God has graciously brought us through our year despite the valleys and mountains we each faced uniquely as our year went by. As pastor was talking about giving thanks to God, I was reminded that how much blessings and provision God has poured unto my life this year.

I really thank God for being God! Without having Him as someone I can totally rely and count on at every corner of my life, I can’t imagine how my 2007 will turn out to be, especially being in Melbourne.

My top 5 thanksgiving to God in 2007:-

1. Thank God for always there to comfort me, to provide peace, especially when I first landed in Melbourne, when everything seemed so foreign, everyone seemed so distance, where I have to make every effort to try to get used to without having my family & close friends with me, without having a car to move about, having to start finding a suitable church and praying for like-minded friends. I praise Him for the doors He opened and the grounds He leveled for me so that my path is straight and smooth! I found a group of great friends and spiritual family, a church that continuously stirring me and I kinda got used to the lifestyle there although I very much prefer the life in KL.

2. I thank God for the growth He had planned for me. The way I read the Word, on how I interact with people, how much I’ve been challenged by Him to step out of my comfort zone to interact with people, to speak boldly on what I believe in, and to never compromise my faith & stand. I thank Him for the doors He opened to allow me to be a part of others’ spiritual growth and spiritual journey. It’s such an honour to be a part of His work! And I’m excited for more in 2008.

3. I thank God for His favours and blessings. I was sick when I first arrived Melbourne and it led me to undergo few months of medication. The peace, assurance, and hope that He has promised sustained me and keep me going all the way! Even looking for houses, air tickets, settling some issues with my landlord were doors of favours by God. I don’t know how it works, but I know it is His works.

4. I thank God for the financial blessings that You’ve sustained my family, and constantly holding us together as one. I thank Him for the doors the He has opened and the strongholds that He has torn down. I pray that more and more of His ways will be working through my family as 2008 begins. Even these holidays, I thank God that You provided many days where we as family are able to spend time together. I thank You for the healing power that You’ve poured unto my mum and I thank You that she is recovering well!!!

5. I thank God for blessing me with my results, the reassurance that He restored in me, and I thank God for the rest that He provided even with the busy schedule I have throughout my clinical semester. I thank Him for His love and with His love, comes every other thing in my life!

Psa105:

1 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
2 Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
3 Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
4 Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.
5 Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
6 O descendants of Abraham his servant, O sons of Jacob, his chosen ones.

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

Blessed Christmas!

Been a busy weekend... Just had our Christmas production over the weekend. This time around, it is a talk show where PC was the host and 3 different people were invited to share their lives and how the found God’s providence & His gift in the midst of life struggle!

First is about a mother and her child.

“One moment she was expecting to hold her newborn adopted baby in her arms. The next moment, her baby’s life hangs in the balance.”

Second story is about “A young man suffered years of shattered relationship with his father. He never thought he would ever speak to him again.”

Thirdly is about “One man faced depression that threatened to destroy his life…”

They shared how God’s gift turned their lives around! I watched the production twice, and it still melts my heart to see how great our God is. How much is His love for us; not collectively but He loves each of us individually. We are each special in His eyes. He desires to know us personally, and more and more, and want to have a relationship with us.

That is what today is all about. It is God’s expression of love towards us. He so love us that He gave His son, Jesus Christ as a ransom for many, so that through His son, we can come to Him. It takes a personal encounter to know Him, I can’t explain much about it, but once you know Him, and experience His encounter, you will not leave Him!

He is the GREATEST gift of all!!!

Since I’m back from Melbourne, people kept asking me whether I’ve eaten everything that I’ve been craving for when I was in Melbourne. Some asked me if I’ve devised my must-eat-list and others have asked if I’ve been to this, or that place for meals.

So I thought I should come out with my 2nd must-eat-list again in no particular order:-

1. bak kut teh – in puchong and in pandan indah one. Trust me, the reason why I didn’t add klang in my list because the place is so far away, and the bak kut teh over there is over-rated.
2. nasi lemak in ampang
3. my Mongolian steam boat which my friends love it a lot when I brought them there.
4. beef noodles at jln silang & pandan indah – I had it the other day but I want more!!!
5. yong tau foo which I just had it for lunch but won’t mind another round.
6. mee rebus & rojak stall in ampang
7. my fish ball noodles near jln alor
8. how can I forget chilli’s!!!
9. my penang seafood & asam laksa in tanjung tokong which I’ve yet to fulfill since my first list
10. er, I think I’ll cancel buffet cause my capacity for a meal seem to have shrunk
11. tandoori and naan opposite ampang point and at jln masjid India
12. the funky fruit juice in murni’s
13. beef rendang and more beef rendang that my friend’s mum make, but since my friend ain’t around, I guess, I gotta continue this craving.
14. saisaki buffet (this is an exception) for sashimi & sushi
15. seafood noodle soup at jln alor.
16. hokkien mee at jln imbi
17. had my yee mee soup in ampang but I want more.
18. my grandma’s bake cauliflower with cheese is awesome.
19. mum’s homemade soup
20. steak and more steak! oh yah, since I said I’ll stop at #20, thought I wanna add my Dutch restaurant @ Changkat Bkt Bintang. The pork knuckle is awesome!!!

Ok, I think I better stop at #20 coz if not, I think I’ll take up the entire blog. Nevertheless, just hope that these holidays will be meaningful as I spend my time with my family, church, & friends. Am excited about the Christmas production that church is coming up with and looking forward to trips. Really need a break after 19 weeks of torture in clinical years. Those who have read the list above can start \ inviting me for meals. I won’t mind company and treats.

Unexpected welcome!

Everything seems so different. I never thought I had to rekindle my blog with such a post. But I believe there is a reason for this season.

Everything seems to ebb away when I found out my mum is in the hospital as soon as I landed in KL last Saturday. The joy of being back home from a terrible 19 weeks of clinical school vanished instantly. I was filled with sorrow; sadness overwhelmed me. I found out that mum had an 11cm mass in her ovary, and she is currently in the hospital, waiting for operation. Even as I was having my brekkie with my dad & sis, I was eating one of my fav hawker food, but somehow, that morning, my taste buds seemed to lost their function. The desire for all my fav food had fade away, and I was consumed my mum’s condition. In my heart, I can only cry out to Jesus. I don’t know who to cry out to. I don’t know who to perfect this condition besides Him. The world is spinning around with wars, riots, demonstrations, protests… the heart of mankind is always troubled by the things of the world – career, love, money, security, loneliness, depression, the list goes on. I myself am guilty of it sometimes. But at this very moment, I need God to be more evident in my family’s lives.

As I met with mum at the bed of hospital, my heart shrank in side. Seeing her in bed, holding on to her pain made me feel that someone is tearing my heart bit by bit. The slow agony of pain she is enduring yet having to need to put on a smile just to not to keep us worry made me want Jesus to come touch her instantly. In my heart, “Jesus, Jesus you are the only One who can set her free. You are the only One who can comfort her. You are the only One who brings the entire peace & keep us strong in one spirit. Lord the battle is Yours not hers.” I sat there at the corner helplessly, trying to answer every questions she asked about my happenings in Melbourne. I tried to contain my emotions as much as possible.

I came back, shut myself in the room, and try to do my morning devotion. But I can’t bring myself to read the Word. Tears just start flowing down as I play, asking God for another miracle in my life, and over my mum’s life. “She deserves better” is what was going through my mind. “Lord I just long for You to bring upon the impossible in her life right now”. As I went back to church for SNL, it was great to see everyone. It was good to be back in somewhere familiar after weeks of being away from it; but my heart was troubled by the mum’s condition. But as soon as Ps Tim mentioned this:

“Stop wondering, start worshipping”

There’s this shift in my heart. Stop worrying what’s next & start honouring God, start worshipping Him. He will make the path straight. Afterall, He is the mastermind of everything. Everything in life – whether good or bad are intended to be good in His eyes. There is a purpose for this situation to happen at this time. The story Peter walking on water began to come into my mind. A story I am familiar with, that I constantly tell others about. God is reminding me not to let the waves pull me down. He is telling me not to let the waves water down my faith. Mum is in His hands. I believe He will change the circumstances. He will change the bad to good. I was remembered by the verse in Malachi2:15… So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. The verse reminds me to continue to stir myself in spirit, to believe Him even more. He did the impossibles in the past, my life has been filled by His miracles. This time is no different. It is gonna come, and come at the perfect time. God works in miraculous ways. All I need to do is stay in faith & believe in Him for everything. Words can’t seem to describe how much I want my mum to be fine. How much longing I need God to come & extend His lovingkindness heart & gracious hand over her.

Thank you to the leaders and friends who are standing with me in prayer. But above all, thank You Jesus for being in control.

But today…

Today is a PERFECT DAY!

PRAISE HIM FOR EVERYTHING!

Mum is scheduled for surgery today. Walked her til the theatre and the doctor said the surgery is expected to complete about 1 1/2hrs. So, we went out to grab some lunch. As we were waiting, dad received an urgent phone call from the hospital at about 45 minutes after we seen her. Our hearts pumped faster; anxious and nervous about the call and as to what sorta news the doctor wanna convey to us. We rushed into the theatre and the explanation began:

“We finished the operation. It was an unusual finding. The 11cm lesion we saw in the scan that we thought is a mass turned out to be an old blood clot the size of a coconut. Nothing cancerous found. The clot was due to a ruptured vessel nearby and this may be due to trauma. We cleared off the clot and send some for analysis. Her ovaries & uterus are retained and she is fine now.”

My heart was jumping with joy. Tears of joy started to flow. All praises to Him. All glory to Him. Thank God for such an amazing miracle. The unexpected happens, the impossible became possible, bad turned out good. God is gracious & merciful. His love surpasses all understanding & endures forever!

I was reminded of this scripture:-

Luke8: 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Luke8:50Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."

This part of the scripture talks about Jesus healing a dead girl & a sick woman. In order for healing to take place, we gotta have faith & start believing. Fear has to leave for His miracle to come place. This weekend really taught me a lot about believing, about trusting God, about having greater faith in Him knowing that He will turn things around.
Believe that God is gonna oversee her recovery til she is as good as before! Thank You so much for taking care of us all.

With love,
Jonathan

The God who provides!!!

Awesome!!! That’s all I can say.

Many things have been happening lately… & God made it a perfect day today!!!

Situation #1
Jia Ren (JR), Andrew (AW), James (JC), & I intended to move out of IH next year. House hunting hasn’t been easy for us; especially 4 bedroom houses are so limited at Carlton Gardens or Parkville. So, since the search began, we haven’t had many choices, and after the first visit to a Victorian design house (which means it’s a super old house), we decided to pray that God will provide a place and we will be able to settle this by 24th Oct (which was a fortnight from then).

During that period, JC & JR were thinking of staying back in IH, and the thought of not being able to stay together, or finding a suitable house for 4 of us, just made things a lil’ difficult. Cut the long story short, in the end they decided to move out together, but we still haven’t located any suitable units. A consideration of getting a two 2 bedroom apartments came into our mind, but we continue to press on for a place that fits all of us, and praise God, on Oct 24th, we found a place & applied & got it!!!

Situation #2
Recently, been so consumed by the amount of work I have. So many studies need to be done. So tired every time after hospital, and with lil’ time left, it just doesn’t help me. Began to feel medicine is like a chore, and the passion slowly fading.

Over the weekend during DNA encounter (a course in church I’ve been attending), as I was worshipping God, I just felt a rising sensation from my body, slowly up my head, and accumulated inside my head for a while before it lifted out of my body. Just felt so light & elevated since this semester started. Tears started to pour as I felt God’s joy & peace filled me. Jesus said in Mat11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Situation #3
Staying in IH means I gotta move out of this place by Nov 24th, the date where Melb Uni students finished their exams & summer term starts. Unfortunately, being in clinical years, I have fewer holidays, and my rotation only ends on the Nov 23rd, followed by 2 days exams that end on Nov 30th.

For days I’ve been looking for places to stay, as to which friend’s place is available to host me, or should I pay IH (AUD450) to stay on further until my exam date. But today, when I went to the office to discuss with the accountant regarding the rents, by God’s grace, the charges that I’ve to pay was only AUD127 after additional days that the college compensated for me. Yes! So now, I’m staying in til Nov 30th!!!

Situation#4
Being the homesick me (esp since it’s exam season now), I decided to make a phone call to MAS to change my flight from Dec 4th to 2nd. But to my surprise, my ticket was accidentally booked on a different class without me realizing it. If I go to the airport on the 4th, I would not be able to fly and I can’t imagine how crazy I will be if that happens at the ticket counter in Melbourne airport. So, because if this issue, I am forced to leave on Dec 6th due to the overbooked flight seats for my ticket class.

But when I was in hospital today, my friend came over & told me that he changed his ticket to Dec 1st and paid only AUD100++. With great anticipation, and a sense of hope I immediately rush home and get my air ticket & head straight to MAS office in the city and see if there’s any seats available for me. Thank God, there’s still one left & I have to pay AUD106 to change my flight (If I were to stay in Melbourne for another 5 days, I would spend more than AUD106). Without much hesitation, I paid & left the office with a ticket home on the 1st. YEAH!!!

Psa94: 18 When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. 19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. (NIV)

Psa94:18-19The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling," your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up. (MSG)

Psa94: 18 I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. 19 When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. (NLT)

Really wanna honour God for what He has done in my life lately. In less than 3 weeks, so many things have been happening. Everything seems to fall into the right place, and God’s favour is constantly magnified in every area of my life. Just affirmed me that God is so real in my life, and always interested to bless us. His hands are never too short to bless us, His ears never too dull to listen to our prayers. Just made me wanna trust Him more and more, and want Him to be included in every aspect of my life! Indeed, what He said is true. Psa84:12Blessed is the man who trust in You.

I just wanna say...

Just let me say how much I love
YouLet me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend (x2)

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Adelaiders in Melbourne

---Austin's Code Black---

Time:- Lunch hours (noon-2pm)
Place:- Austin Hospital mainly the student common room
Person:- N, M & myself (names are abbreviated to protect privacy)


*As usual, I was playing ping pong with my friends as we were eating lunch in the common room. As I returned the ball skillfully to the opponent…

- Ding Ding Ding Ding (Doesn’t sound quite like that, but almost the same)

Voice talking thru the speaker *Attention, there’s a code black going on in this and that area & the warn us to be careful & not to go to that area

(Btw, code black means there’s an armed threat or hostage going on in the hospital, so STAY AWAY!!!)

I was telling my friend, “Hey there’s a code black going on. Sounds cool. This is the first time hearing this kind of announcement. Wish I am there to witness the situation. It’ll be so cool!”

Thoughts about the drama in the TV series Grey’s Anatomy was running through my mind as I continue playing ping pong. It’ll be such a fun thing to be in the situation, trying to do something (although I don’t know what I can do besides er standing there), like what the interns in Grey’s did when things happen.

After a long hour of ping pong rallies, I decided to go to the ward with M to do a long case for my presentation tomorrow. N decided to come along since N wanted to go to the ward too. As three of us were heading towards the lift, we overheard the residents talking about the threat and started walking towards the old building of Austin.

Then,

N: Let’s just follow them. They might be heading towards the “crime” scene.

3 of us were following the residents closely… They were heading towards the old Austin building. Then,

Me: I don’t think it’s in the old building. It’s a researched area; no patients will come to this part of the world! Let’s just go to the Outpatients (Level 3)

Once we got to the Level 3, everyone was sitting calmly. Nurses & doctors were busy running the afternoon outpatient clinics.

Me: Why is it so peaceful? Hrm, maybe it’s at the lobby, where everyone is.

So, we walked towards the lobby, not wanting to give up easily, hoping to get a sense of Grey’s anatomy feel! We walked around the lobby, disappointed as soon as we found the area was free from threats, so N has this brilliant idea.

N: Let’s just go security department. I need to get my pass card fixed. Maybe they’ll tell you what happen. (True enough, the guard told us there’s something going on at the age care outpatient)

With that blur faces,

M: WH, why don’t you go and ask the reception counter where is this age care place is?

Me: *walking towards the counter. Excuse me, we are medical students & we heard that there’s a code black going on. Do you know where it is? Just wanna make sure we don’t go near that area.

We were told it’s at level 4, in the Austin old building. Argh!!! Right where we were heading towards initially. N & M gave me this look & we hurried to the “crime” scene. As we were on our way,

Ding Ding Ding Ding “Code black has been cleared!”

The look of disappointment and sadness on our faces. When we reached there, we saw a couple of police cars, and funny thing is, our neurology consultant & fellow were there, checking out the “scene”.

N: I think the detective part of tracking down the “crime” scene was much more fun & exciting & hilarious compared to actually reaching the actual scene.

Laughing at each other, and feeling somehow satisfied at the “drama” we had running around the hospital, we went to the ward & start our work. THE END!

Voice of truth!!!

Casting crown – Voice of truth

Oh,what I would do

To have the kind of faith it takes

To climb out of this boat I'm in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown

Where Jesus is,

And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name

and they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me time and time again

"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"

and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do

to have the kind of strength it takes

To stand before a giant

with just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors

shaking in their armor

Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me time and time again

"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"

and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size

to put the giant on the ground

and the waves they don't seem so high

from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles

when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus

singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

The voice of truth says “do not be afraid”A

nd the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”

Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)

I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe

I will listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe

'Causes Jesus You are the voice of truth

And I will listen to You.. oh You........

What an amazing song! Was really blessed by the lyrics of the song. In the midst of going through my Neurology block in Austin hospital, I felt overwhelming at times, especially when I am not familiar with this complex part of our body system & having all the consultants constantly bombarding me with thousands upon thousands of information and people around you answering the questions confidently & as for me; remaining at my spot, quiet, confused most of the times, trying my very best to understand their explanations, & crying out to God most of the time for His grace!

It’s not like I have a breakdown or something, or overly stressed or immensely pressurized, but it’s just tough walking through clinical years alone without experiencing His presence uplifting me every moment. But I remembered God assured me one day, telling me that I’ll be alright! That He is always in control of my situation, that I could trust in Him & His plans for me in future is to prosper me!

Exo1:12 But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew. During the times when the Israelites were oppressed by the Egyptian king, it grew even more. God is telling me to apply this to my condition. The more I feel oppressed, burdened by my studies, the more I will grow, learn more & get better! Was reminded of these verses,

psa4:8 I will lie down & sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Phil4:6-7Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer & petition present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart & your mind in Christ Jesus.

Psa55:16But I call to God, & the Lord saves me. Evening, morning & noon I cry out in distress, & He hears my voice.

Psa55:22Cast your cares on the Lord & He will sustain you, He will never let the righteous fall.

Psa56:3-4 3 Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?

I really thank Him for the love & the promises He made with me. This week, although workload continues to increase, His peace remains in me. His confidence assures me that “It’ll be alright”. I should not listen to the voice of my flesh, but focus & substitute it with the voice of truth! The voice that constantly says “Don’t worry”. The words of “Yes” & “Amen”. Like Peter, I should keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. Then my life will be like a journey of “walking above the water”. Filled with miracles & the impossibles! Filled with perfect love!!!

Bendigo moments

It's over!

It’s finally over. The end of my surgical rotation has marked its date. I left Bendigo, with mixed feelings. A part of me rejoice and celebrate because I no longer need to travel back & forth during the weekends, no longer need to be away from my friends here in Melbourne. The other part of me feels bad because I really really really enjoy this rotation in Bendigo. I love the hospital there, and being under Surgical Team 1 is the best thing to learn and experience my surgical rotations. I have wonderful registrars and surgeons teaching me and guiding me along my rotations. My top 10 moments in no order is:-

1. Being able to scrub in 5 laparotomy & open bowel surgeries; thyroidectomy; appendicectomy; lung resection; witnessing a femoral-popliteal artery bypass, lower knee amputation, skin cancer resection, & some others that I can’t remember their names.

2. Waking up at 6a.m. to walk in the icy cold weather of Bendigo for ward rounds.

3. Enjoying the historical & unique Bendigo architectures across the city.

4. Listening & laughing together with my registrar at how some funny & weird patients complaining about their surgical conditions to us.
5. Being able to cannulate & take blood from real patients.
6. Singing “Irreplacable” & “Do-Re-Mi” with my group members.
7. Cooking & Barbeque dinners with my group members.
8. Obsess with a British registrar who has absolutely pure & typical British accent.
9. Still love surgical team 1 a lot a lot a lot.
10. Build relationship & encourage certain patients that I’ve seen. Really taught me a lot of things on people’s reactions and emotions in response to their medical conditions.

Just hope someday, I’ll be able to work under my registrars during my intern year. It is a pleasure to work with them & hope I’ll be as capable as them in future. Hopefully neuroscience in Austin will be as exciting as surgery in Bendigo. Being in surgical rotation really affirms my desire to specialize as a general surgeon in future. This is truly a memorable 6 weeks experience. Will post photos soon. Cheers!

He made a way!

One day, as I was having meals with my friends, one of them said, “Hey, don’t think you can eat food prayed over by the Muslims. It’s blasphemy if you do.”

In my mind I was thinking, hrmm… if that’s the case, I’ve sin so many times. I’ve disobeyed God abundantly since I’ve gone to food stalls in KL eating nasi lemak, roti canai, etc cooked by Muslims. That’s no good. Some even say the food offered by Chinese to their gods is not “clean” to be eaten. Some Christians even say there is certain food which we can eat, and some which we can’t. I asked God; if that’s the case, if You are limiting the types of food which we can eat, then why create every other varieties. Why placed skills and talents into different people from different background to come with different varieties of food!!! Just stay on with bread, or rice, chicken & green vege. Not only you will stay within rules, you won’t get fat by consuming food like nasi lemak, rendang, barbeque pork, etc.

As I was doing my devotion today, this verse was so real to me!

1tim4: 1The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. 3They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

His word says He made everything good!!! Everything that God created was good (Gen1:31) So if God says everything He made was good, who are we to say there’s restriction to food. This verse reaffirms me that, God is not a God of rules, but a God of relationship. He said that everything should be received with thanksgiving, & by His word & prayer, it shall be cleaned. In the name of Jesus, all that we eat shall be sanctified. If we still live a life following a bunch of rules, then our salvation, our relationship with God is no longer by grace, but by our deeds.

This verse also speaks about faith, about our believing life. It talks about whom we believe & the power of who we believe. I believe, Jesus who made His way to the cross & paid the price of our sin & rose from the death on the 3rd day is able to make a way for me in all the food that I eat. There is freedom in the name of Jesus. Free from all sin and shame! We no longer need to live by the dos & don’ts put forth by men. All we need is Jesus in our lives! In Jesus’ most powerful name I pray!!!

Level up!

What another week. A tiring and energy consuming one… Being back in Melbourne for the weekend somehow took my mind off study and medicine, but I certainly didn’t get the rest I needed. Time seems so short (1/2 of the time I’m not sure what I’ve spent it on). Anyhow I had a good time with my friend, Wern & her family. She graduated yesterday a degree holder of Bachelor of Arts. Had a wonderful meal together with them and it did somehow remind me of the times our families used to hang out together & go for meals. It’s just fantabulous!

I haven’t been doing much devotion due to my dense schedule. It’s not an excuse and I know I must get my time sorted out for God, not out of obligation, but out of hunger for His daily bread. Last week, as I was going through my church’s beginner course, these verses captured my attention.

romans4: 18Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."[d] 19Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. 20Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

What a high level of faith Abraham has. Despite the reality of “hopelessness” knowing that in the natural world, rationally speaking, he and his wife were too old to have a kid, but Abraham did not waver, his belief was not shaken. Rather, he strengthened his faith even more and continues to praise God for it, trusting and knowing that God will do whatever He has promised.

Sometimes, we are persuaded and convinced by the situation around us, when things go out of our hand, when we lost controls of situations of our lives… we began to lose hope, we tend to believe that we gotta end up with the consequences of the situations we are in. We forgot that God is the ultimate control of our lives. Situations are never in our hands, within our control; they are always in His control. He has ordained our days before they come to be. Let’s believe for a greater breakthrough in whatever things we are facing, let’s believe that God’s promises and favor prevail. His hands rest on us. We are always in His heart. He always thinks about us. He will never let anything bad happen to His creations because He so love us.

Yesterday, as I was talking to Shawn, he told us that ECF sealed the deal for the new lot for our extension service in Damansara. It doesn’t end there; he said that church has bought a new land for our new building. It’s gonna be bigger & can accommodate the expansion that God has entrusted us. Felt that God’s favor and provision are resting upon us now. It is THE SEASON for ECF!!! Really praise God and thank Him for such a tremendous blessing. If it’s God’s will, it’s His deal. Now, praying for His bill too. ;-) Am excited to go back end of this year to see and hear the plans that God has for our new place. It’s gonna be a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!!!

Prophetic dream?

Recently had a dream. I dreamt that I was in the church, a church I felt was ECF, and there I was standing on stage – either sharing a testimony or preaching a message. I don’t have a calling to be a pastor, for I believe God is gonna use my career as a doctor to touch lives that I come into contact with. But as I finished what I meant to share, I walked down the stage, heading towards the back seats, smiling at the people around me who were clapping their hands vigorously for such a wonderful word. (I don’t mean to be boastful or what-so-ever) As I reached the back of the sanctuary, there I saw the familiar face of a middle-aged man, clapping together with the congregation but with a joyful tears running down his cheek. He was my dad!!! There he was standing in the church… I quickly walked towards him and embraced him…

I remembered this much about my dream. I woke up, thinking about this dream. Is this a prophetic dream??? Is God gonna open great doors to this household?

Acts16:31They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household."

Recently this verse really spoke to me, Rom15:13May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!

Green means fresh! It means growing! It means full of life! It resembles God’s given hope into those who believe in Him… His hope that lives forever, that never will fail or fade, that is gonna be new and fresh every day. It’s a life-giving hope! This verse says this type of hope will fill us with joy & peace so that our BELIEVING LIVES will BRIM over with hope. Our believing lives will be filled with His hope in full capacity. Not just that, our believing lives is filled with life-giving energy from the Holy Spirit. God’s presence and energy brings life to the people around us. It changes lives!

I am praying that God will increase my believing life! Pray that more and more people will see the Christ in me. Pray that His glory will be reflected in me, through me, my household will know Him and His presence reign mightily in my household! He made everything beautiful in His own time.

2nd week in Bendigo

Another week has passed by. Finally, back in my room in International House. Never felt so at home since I got to Melbourne until now. It’s good to be back here with all my friends around.

Never had anything exciting this week. Been very lazy and hardly gone for any morning ward rounds. I attempted IV cannulation (which means you stick a needle in a tube into the vein so that you can infuse any fluid into the vein) on a patient in the presence of an intern, but failed to get it into the vein totally. Patient lost confidence, so I had no second attempt. I tried it on my friend, first on her left hand, and failed. I made my final attempt on the right side, but failed again. I think I’ve bruised her veins in both of her hand badly.

My friend attempted a try on me too and got it through. However, the process was painful and now, my forearm had a blue-black mark… I never thought cannulation was so bad, because when I had it during my admission for dengue fever, it didn’t felt as painful as now. Well, maybe I was too sick to feel the pain. This time, it’s no joke.

Hoping to get to get my cannula in someday next week. Need more patients to try on. Sounds evil, but well, I need to learn. I gotta learn how to take some blood too. Sigh. I missed out on a hemicolectomy(removal of 1/2 of the large intestine) this Wednesday... Hopefully there will be more exciting surgeries next week... :-(

View of Sacred Heart Cathedral outside my room in Bendigo

Stretching week!!!

What an amazing week. Tiring and filled with eventful moments. I truly enjoy my time in Bendigo, although I doubt I’ll stay there for the rest of my life. Nevertheless, it’s not as doggy as I thought it would be, it’s not as ulufied as other rural areas like Kuala Kubu Bahru. The town is quite big, and it was filled with skillfully built historical buildings. It sort of took off the whole “country” mentality in me. The place I stayed, Lister House is near to this magnificent and huge cathedral. Its beauty is magnified at night when the building glow with glory as the yellow light falls on its walls.

As for my rotation, it is awesome. My first block is Gastroenterology and General Surgery. Bendigo Hospital is great. The doctors and nurses are very nice, and helpful. The real action kicks in on Tuesday when Mohana & I tried to go to the theatre to check out an inguinal hernia surgery, which turned out to be cancelled. So we ended up seeing a vascular bypass surgery, which truly amazed me when the surgeon showed me the venous & arterial thrombus. Well, I learnt a lot about it in IMU but I never actually seen nor felt one. That experience was amazing. Had my outpatient in the afternoon under this surgeon. Met the registrar under him and he has been very helpful. Taught us a couple of stuff about abdominal exams. I saw a patient with gallstones and she was scheduled for an operation the next day. He asked us to come for morning rounds the next day before scrubbing in for her surgery. I was totally like “YES” and thanking God for meeting such a nice registrar. So, I went back and study a bit on cholecystectomy.

On Wednesday morning, Mohana & I woke up at 6 a.m. and head straight to the surgical unit & found out that the team has already started the morning rounds. I met this 5th year Monash student, Hang is her name. Noticed that she’s very good and knows her stuff and her whereabouts in the ward and writing reports for investigations & stuff… hope that by the end of my 5th year, I’ll be as equip as her if not better! After the rounds, I scrubbed in for a abdominal cancer surgery. It was pretty cool though as I felt the tumour mass which was almost the size of a knuckle.

Thursday started off with morning rounds, followed by appendicectomy. The surgeon asked me a couple of basic questions regarding appendicitis, but I found myself out of words. Realized that I’ve forgotten so much of my pre-clinical stuff. As for Friday, I saw how to perform an IV cannula on a patient’s vein. I’ll try it next week.

Nevertheless, it’s good to be back in Melbourne for the weekend and have proper food. Haven’t been eating healthily the entire week. Lunches are always sandwiches packed from home, and dinners are all microwavable food such as pasta or lasagna. Too tired to run out to buy food or cook anything. Been waking up at 6a.m. and finishes about 6.30p.m. Slept around 2a.m. almost every night.

Anyway, looking forward to next week. Hopefully there’s interesting cases to see or nice surgeries to scrub into. Gotta make a lot of effort to learn.

First week

Thank God it’s Friday!!!!! Had a long and tiring week. I had my first week of introduction to clinical school in Austin. Every morning, I woke up at 6.30am, before the sun rises, get ready as fast as I possibly could, catch the tram down to the city, then a train to Heidelberg, where my beautiful Austin Hospital is. It took me about 45 minutes to an hour to get there. All these happened in the cold freezing morning weather! My day starts at 8.30am all the way til about 4.30pm. When I reached IH at the end of the day, the sky turned dark… but as for today, it is my first day since I got back to Melbourne where I can sit in my room, facing the cloudy sky and typing this blog.

Clinical was pretty fun though, despite the fact I am going to Bendigo (which happens to be a pekan). Did some cool stuff this week:-

1. I learnt some basic physiology stuff like helping the patient to sit up from lying on his bed, helping patient to stand from sitting position and using different walking aids and their functions in assisting patient walking.

2. During my respiratory tutorial, the registrar thought us a couple of new stuff during physical exam. The patient which has a hyperinflated chest presented with shortness of breath. In addition to that, he has rheumatoid arthritis on his right hand and osteoarthritis on his left. Pretty interesting eh? Plus, the reg taught us how to check if the diaphragm is working through physical exam. Thought the session was awesome!

3. Yesterday I was tagging a nurse in a stroke ward. I assisted a doctor in a male catheterization on a patient with urinary retention because of his lower spinal problem and prostate enlargement. I think we were in the room for about 40 minutes but the catheter can’t seem to go into the bladder because of the obstruction by the prostate and the much clot in the urethra due to the trauma by the previous catheter. I think the doctor informs the urologist and I think the patient might undergo suprapubic catheterization.

Overall, it was a tiring but exciting weekend. Can’t wait til next week. Starting my gastroenterology (gut system) and general surgery block next week in Bendigo. I think I gotta take a lot of own initiative in order to learn. Just have to be more “semangat” in learning and interact with patients.

A blessed holidays!

I think it’s about time I drop a post before the blog master starts emailing me and ask if I wanna continue on with my blog. 5 weeks seemed like a dream. It ended so fast and felt like it had never happened. I’m back in Melbourne and started my clinical school in Austin Hospital this week. The taste and joy of holiday has faded away, consumed by the tiredness of my daily schedule in Austin Hospital.

Nevertheless, I really praise God for such a blessed 5 weeks. I remember the 3 weeks back in KL was totally amazing. Praise Him for an opportunity of time and blessing me with cheap tickets back home. The joy of seeing my family and spending time with them like usual, hanging out in the living room and having meals together like good old times. Seeing friends that soon going to UK, my high school buddies, and spending time with the leaders in church just made my holidays back in KL more fulfilling. Driving in KL, hanging out in KLCC, eating my favourite food and spending ringgit completed everything!

I remembered the time in KLIA when I was leaving for Sydney, Jessica asked me “Are you the only child in your family?” & of course I answered “No. & why do you say so?” She said, “Coz you look like one.” I began to realize why she had that impression. I’m so loved and blessed by my family & I know they were sad to see me leave so early. Some of my friends might think I’m a “brat”, well in a way, I’m glad I was treated as one. This magnifies my parents’ love for me, and I truly thank God for blessing me with such an awesome family.

I flew to Sydney & spent 2 days touring the city with my church members. It was great fun. I enjoyed Fish Market the most since the food is so cheap, and it was top-class fresh seafood! But the highlight was Hillsong Conference! About 30, 000 people from different nations gathered under one roof, united as His body, worshiped Him and encountered Him for a week! Was so blessed to be part of it! I remember a statement was made which really ministered to me:

“The church is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church!”

Amazing eh? Will blog more about the things God spoke to me in Hillsong.

After that week, I spent another week in Adelaide with my friends. I must somehow say that Adelaide looks better than Sydney, I sorta like the place more than Sydney. Anyhow, Melbourne is still better. But the best part is not about the city, but it’s about spending time with my friends. Se Yin, Lay In & Chun Peng were there too. Sneaking into Village, visiting Handoff together, feed kangaroos, preparing steamboat and cooking together, play boggle & boggal (Malay version of boggle), catching up with each others’ lives... it’s such a good time spent together. Was really sad on my last night in Chris’ place. The thought of having to return to Melbourne didn’t excite me. Chris & Chuen kept saying, “You’ll enjoy clinical much more. It’s so relevant and makes so much more sense” but in me, I longed to remain in holidays. I know that once I get back here, I’ll miss home & friends & church more and more, I’ll be so exhausted by the clinical school schedule & rotation, I’ll be loaded by the amount of studies I needed to do & I’ve to go for my country rotation for 6 weeks.

In 5 weeks, I mourned 3 times for 3 departures. But during my stay in Adelaide, Wai Meng’s brother had an accident. What amazed me was, when we heard how serious his brother’s condition was, we sat down and prayed for his brother… and after we prayed for him, the very next day when CP contacted Wai Meng, he told CP that the brother responded and was conscious!!! Really praise God for His healing power. Really awesome to see the power of prayer as we come together as one accord!

This week is ending soon. PC, Kelvin & Sharon just left few days ago. Good to have them here in Melbourne. Gonna miss my IH Shakers & my UL members! Will miss the time we go to the park at midnight and hang out there. Well, just pray that God will prepare me greatly for clinical, not just in studies, but in influence, in being the salt & the light!

Adelaide sweet moments

Hillsong Conference 2007

Sydney 2007

Down Memory Lane

The front view of my school

It was a good Wednesday night outing with my high school friends. I’ve been spending lots of time with them these holidays. We decided to meet at our high school (St. John’s Institution) and start off our night from there.
We had dinner at Pizza Hut, went to Luna Bar for a drink, then mamak and finally went back to our school to collect my friend’s car. It was that moment Ken suggested “Let’s go in for a walk!” As we were walking towards the entrance, Ken was like saying, “Everywhere you go, there’s a Johannian. In my office there’s one.” Sern Liang added, “Yah, my first interviewer, he is a Johannian.” In my mind, I was thinking, that’s kinda true. I was checking out who’re the notable people these days that were brought up from the same background as I am.

-Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah Al-Haj ibni Almarhum Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah Al- Haj, Sultan of Selangor
-Raja Dr Nazrin Shah, Raja Muda (Crown Prince) of Perak
-Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia
-Datuk Hishammuddin Tun Hussein Onn, Education Minister of Malaysia
-Harith Iskandar, Actor, Comedian
-Hans Isaac, Actor

A year ago, the local newspaper has the habit of publishing successful Malaysians throughout the world, and when I was reading their education background, significant amount came from St. John. I feel proud to be brought up by a school so rich in its heritage. Most Johannians are all rounder. We are not known for our academic excellence, not these days at least, but one thing for sure, we are equipped in all areas, from studies to leadership, sports to societies; we are all rounder students!

As we were walking through the famous portico, I saw this sign:

We come with hope, we return with glory!

This statement is so true. Whenever someone asked me which school I am from, I’ll say it with pride “St. John’s Institution” I had such an amazing experience during my high school days, with a bunch of friends that still in touch, who I know still stand with me if I ever need help, and joyfully enjoy and love our school, I guess mainly for its heritage!

Menara KL from my school

Being back in KL this time made me appreciate my school days even more, especially my friends. I must admit that sometimes, I am too caught up with my schedule that I hardly keep in touch with them, or keep canceling appointments. But this time, God really reminded me of my friends, and how much I have to be there for them, and how much they need me. I’ll try my best to stay in touch with them, and to meet them whenever possible. Really thank them for their unfailing friendship all these years.

4 of us left-From R-L:-Ken, Iqram, SL & I

The end of the field where i used to play "Kejar-kejar"

Like old days!

6 hours seemed forever! It all started when I fetched Chris from LCCT (Air Asia Terminal Airport) and head straight to KLIA main terminal. It was great seeing him since January this year. We talked about life, church, spiritual growth, friends, practically anything and everything that came through our mind.

Told him about what Carolyn said to me, “You and Chris always argue about stuff. Last time was KL (which I so think it rocks like nobody’s business) & KK, now when you guys are in Australia it’s between Melbourne & Adelaide. It hasn’t stop!” As I continued by saying, “Maybe I future, we’re gonna compare between which hospital that we work in is the best, or what sorta specialization is better, or maybe who knows, who’s son is much more brilliant & handsome”

It’s never easy to find a like-minded friend, what more a like-minded friend who you can put down all your guards and share everything with him. It’s just amazing how God cross our paths. From acquaintance to close friends to spiritual brothers & now, best buddies!! Now that we are in different places in Australia, I really thank God that the distance didn’t nullify our friendship. We still keep in touch, we are as close as ever, we talk crap like before, we share faith & edify one another more, & of course never cease teasing one another! Can’t wait for the week that I’m gonna spend in Adelaide. Finally, we sorta can hang out together like old days.

Prov17: 17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity

YOU'RE DEFINITELY ONE!

BAD EXPERIENCE

MARK THIS MOMENT! IT’S TODAY!!!! Never again will I put on contact lenses. Today is my FIRST & LAST!!! I have no idea how so many people including my sister and my mum can survive with such a pain of putting on those 2 small little lenses and at the end of the day, casually take it without any struggle…

Took my sister ½ hr this afternoon to help me put on those lenses. After meeting my best friend, who thought I’ve use lenses for ages, I came home; wanting to take them out cause they are hurting my eyes. My eyes felt itchy and uneasy when the lenses were on, every now and then I sorta rub my eyes (I know I shouldn’t do that but it’s irritating) to relieve the discomfort that my eyes were experiencing.

I asked my mum & sister to help me remove those 2 lenses since they are the expert of contact lenses. Instructions kept firing out of their mouth “Look straight!!” “Look down!!” “Don’t blink!!” “Don’t move your eye ball!!” I was like, these are reflexes. Whenever you touch the eye ball, or my eye lid, your body will send a reflex to cause your eyes to shut as a protective mechanism! I tried every way, putting more solution into my eye, try to blink like gila babi, non stop trying to push my eye lid as far apart as possible… Finally after much struggle, and minutes of torture moments, they came off…

My eyes are now red and swollen… Slightly painful for the consistent trauma in such a short period of time. I told myself, as long as I’m still breathing, I’ll NEVER attempt a second time of using contact lenses. MARK MY WORDS!

Such a torture....

Fixing our eyes!

As I was praying and asking God what I should share with my initial LG core members, I was reminded by this part of gospel talking about Jesus walking over the water:-

Mat14:22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. 27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

Even before Peter began walking towards Jesus, notice in the passage that the waves and wind were there. The scripture never says that the wind only happen after Peter began walking towards Jesus. It shows that, even before accepting Christ, we are surrounded by challenges of life, “waves & wind” of life. More than just surrounded, we are buffeted by the wind and waves of life!!! A constant struggle that we face. But if we keep our eyes on God, like Peter, we will walk in a miraculous life (like Peter walking on the water), a journey of impossible cause God is with us. We will able to stand above all troubles and challenges, in fact we wouldn’t even notice the struggle we are going through.

But once we shift our gaze to the situation, to look at the wind of life, that’s when we began to “sink”. That’s when we feel stress, when life seems so out of control, where things are so overwhelming that sometimes it makes you feel breathless. And even when we stray away, remember to turn back. When Peter began to sink, he called out to Jesus, and IMMEDIATELY, Jesus reached out and caught him. Likewise, when we are choked by situation of life, we can always call out to our Father, and He will respond, and take you out of our situation. God is like a father who always looks after His child, always wanting the best for the child, and never wants to see the child getting hurt. Jesus is always looking after us, and we are always in His heart.

Let’s live a life focusing on God, fixing our eyes and aligning our thoughts to God! Why turn to the left or right and look at the situation that so choke us when we know that once we put our trust in Him, all troubles and problems will be gone. His yoke is light. Let’s trade ours for His!

A fulfilling week

It has been a week since I got back from Melbourne. I have to say that I didn’t roll around KLIA or kiss the ground of KL, but I’m really blessed to be back with my family, church, friends, car, ringgit, food, etc

What I’ve accomplished so far?
- Dim sum, beef noodles, mee rebus & cendol, baked cauliflower, KFC, McD, cheese naan, Milo kosong ais, wantan mee, nasi lemak, roti canai

My must-eat-list that yet to come…
- Yee mee soup, naan in ampang, ampang yong tau foo, fish ball noodles, American chilli, seafood noodles, Mongolian steamboat, bak kut teh, my tg tokong asam laksa & seafood (guess gotta postpone it again to end of this year)… definitely the list is longer but I just can’t think of any at the moment
- Since I’m going to Bangkok next week, looking forward to green curry, mango sticky rice, beef noodles, tom yam, more seafood, pat thai

Besides food, church is awesome. Remember when I first arrived church on Sunday, Ps Tim was at the door greeting people it was just good to see him again, and after coming into the sanctuary, PC was there! Church felt that same even after 4 months of not being in ECF. It felt as though I never left home.

I went for the Campus Champ meeting, and seeing Edwina grown so much despite the things that she’s going through made me felt assured, or like what Shawn said “big heart” to see the growth in her. Remember the time when we saw the desire in her to win the generation over for God, and the urgency we saw in equipping her as much as we could; and now, the fruitfulness in her, fruit that will last! Really reminded me of 1cor15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. This shows that we just have to be faithful in whatever we’re doing, and God will make things beautiful in His time. I’m excited to meet up with them next week, to share with them the journey in Melbourne, what God taught me along the way.

Besides seeing Edwina, really impacted by what PC shared about being a leader. If we as light is as dim as darkness, how can be bring light into darkness… That really struck me. How can we shine and stand firm in God’s truth if we ourselves have things that hinder or stopping us from being what God wants us to be? How can we lead others to the light if we ourselves are not the living example of the gospel that we proclaim? This made me really look into my life, to see if there’s anything that I need to crucify it on the cross, to come to God to repent, and let the word of God be heavy in my heart.

My cell group leader in Melbourne shared with me once, that in Ephesians6, it talks about the armor of God, and the only thing that God gave us as weapon is the “Sword of Spirit” and as I was doing my devotion, I came about gal5: 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. This verse speaks for itself.

Besides that, really appreciate the time spent with Shawn and Steven, and looking forward to have more time with the leaders next week. It is always an honour to spend moments with them, as what I gain is more than what I give. Hearing their visions, their passions that God has dropped into their heart, and how God has used them mightily in ministry really encourage and stir me.

Nevertheless, the lunch time with my high school friends; meeting up with Kenn; spending time mamaking with Jenny, Jay & Chu; movie outing with my Makan Club members; all of that are awesome time spent! Went to KLCC 3 times last week, to shop and to look for more clothes, but sadly speaking, I can’t find anything desirable. Don’t know if Melbourne has bleach my passion for clothing, but I’m not gonna give up. 2 weeks more to fulfill my shopping so that I can bring more clothes back.

These are all my thoughts and what I did for my first week back in KL… 2 weeks to go, hope it’ll be more exciting! Looking forward to Bangkok where I can spend great quality time with my family...

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom!

Liberty… that’s what I’m experiencing now. It’s amazing how 4 months have zoom passed and now I’m heading back to KL again! As I was writing robotically for my last paper yesterday, deep in my heart I was rejoicing. I was cheering that I’m actually returning to KL, the land filled with milk and honey. There isn’t much feeling of sorrows leaving Melbourne, maybe because I know I will return in a month’s time, but yah!

But I really wanna honour God for everything; for all that He has done, pulling me through the moments in Melbourne, giving me love and covering by sending friends crossing my path, providing me with strength and peace as I struggle with my exams, giving me an opportunity to go home to my family this holidays. This is totally unexpected because I remember vividly what I said beginning this year, “I’ll go Hillsong, travel and will only go home end of this year since air tickets are expensive” but well, God opens doorS! He allows everything to happen, and a reasonable price ticket to fly home. AUD875 Melb-KL-Syd… Praise Him for that man!

Today, as usual I’ll do my devotion after breakfast, but I ask God what word He will give me, because I want to read on something about praising Him, about He’s deliverance and power… So as I was flipping through the bible, Psalms105 came into the picture and as I began to read the first verse, it captured me entirely!

Psalm 105
1 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
2 Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
3 Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
4 Look to the LORD and his strength;seek his face always.

My feelings are all summed in these verses. All I want to do is to give thanks to Him, to shout His praises and rejoice in His deliverance. His strength sustains me, His love endures forever, He will be with me, He will watch over me, He will not leave me until He is done with what He has promised me! (Gen28:15) It’s just amazing to know that I’m always in His heart, and He cares so much for me! I just finished up my devotion by listening to Chris Tomlin-Forever… His love endures forever!

Press On!!!!

You guys must be wondering what’s wrong with me… I just should sitting down, trying my very best to study for my exams on Tuesday. It’s finally here. The exams. EOS 5 again! Stress level should be there, but I never seem to feel it. Maybe it is peace. Maybe I just wanna get it over and done with. Or it might be due to distraction. Whatever it is, I certainly don’t know what my exams emotion is now. Was talking to my friend yesterday, and we both came to conclusion that I am stress somehow because I am not stress for exams. This is bad.

But today, I woke up and the first time (10 am) that came into my mind was “This time next Sunday, I’ll be on the grounds of KUALA LUMPUR, my inheritance that was given to me.” In my mind I was going “YES YES YES YES!!!” The very thing that kept me persevering through my exams despite how dreadful it is is God’s grace & strength, and the picture of my home set as my desktop background. Everyday I go around telling people “I’m going back next week! I’ll be in KL on Sunday the 10th!!” I reckon my friends must be so irritated listening to me chanting these sentences restlessly… I can’t explain how much longing I have for home, for my family, for church & friends… It is just my territory, my inheritance God given unto me; it is the place where I grew up, where I was changed and had my first encounter with God. I was shaped to be what I am today.

I can imagine myself jumping with joy once I step down KLIA, if the authority permits; I’ll just roll all over the ground of KLIA all the way to the entrance… (Just kidding, just wanna emphasize the joy I’m experiencing) I’ll be running towards the entrance embracing my family. I can imagine my dad driving us to one of the usual breakfast stall that I love. In my mind, the picture of a warm bowl of whatever noodles is sitting right in front of me, waiting for me to eat it fully! I then can imagine myself stepping in front of my driveway, walking towards the door while brushing my hand through cars. I’ll be in a tachycardic mood as I step through my living room, trying to capture if there’s any changes or new stuff that my parents bought. I can imagine myself fixing my eyes on the Astro remote control, which I know I miss clicking it everyday. I believe I will joyfully run to my bedroom, throwing my entire haversack on the floor & jump straight to my bed, trying to find the comfort that my bed has always provide me. If my sister is in her room sleeping, I know I will go to her room, trying to disturb her by waking her up like I always do. I can picture her irritated face, trying to push me off and yell at me to get out of her room!!! And after all the moments, I can see myself preparing to go to the 11am service in church in my black Jazz, and as I drive, I’ll be capturing every moment of not needing to walk for at least 20days. As I step through my church entrance I know I’ll be embraced by all the familiar faces that I miss so much. J

All these thoughts are running wild in my mind now… I can’t stop thinking, all I need now is to stay focus, & persevere for another week. Days go by really quickly, but I hope that the 20days in KL will be enough to build another greater level of relationships with people around me.

Til then, I just need to press on!

Consider it pure joy!!

Semester 5 exam is coming soon. I can’t believe it but this is my second time taking a EOS5 paper, in a different country & setting, but nevertheless, it’s the last pre-clinical exam before entering clinical years. I can still remember the traumatic experience that I had 5 months ago. It was so vivid that I can’t possibly forget about it. I can still remember clearly my conversation with Chuen(which now known as Chu) about how unbearable it is to remember the entire 2 years of knowledge in IMU, and only God can pull as through EOS 5.

But EOS 5 in Melbourne University is totally a different thing. It is just about semester 5 knowledge. Sounds easy eh? Considering the fact it’s about Immunology, Microbiology & Oncology… Stuff that I’ve gone through in IMU in Semester 2. After 14 weeks of lectures on these areas, I began to realize how unfamiliar I am with Viruses, Genetics, Chemotherapy, and Radiology… stuff that is research based. In addition to this “wonderful” branch of medicine that I hope I won’t specialize in, I am drown with issues on Health Practice. Stuff that I somehow can’t find a reason to have interest in. After all, I only wanna be a clinician, surgeon if possible.

Having gone through 3 class tests & receiving marks that are marginal to the class mean, things began to start building up. Having to cope with the lack of interest in these areas of medicine, I gotta force myself to memorise the huge amount of genes, viruses’ replication methods, the principles of chemotherapies & molecular basis of cancer. As exam period drawing closer, things began to pile up. I started to feel the tension. My panic button beeps urgently. I ran out of options. In the midst of all these, God reminded me pro4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

His love endures forever. His word stay strong; it is sharper than a double-edged sword-it doesn’t return void. He made the impossible possible. He is the author & perfector of my faith. He has plans to proper me. He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides. He said “It is finished”. He is my refuge & strength. I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty & freedom. He is the Prince of Peace.

Psa23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Isa40: 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I can approach His throne of grace with confidence that I will receive mercy & find grace to help me in time of needs (Heb4:16). I should live in victory, I shouldn’t let the thoughts that is not of God disturbs me. I should align my thoughts to His thoughts, knowing that He who promises is faithful (Heb10:23). Rom8:31If God is for me, who shall be against me.

Gonna live through my revision week in victory. I’m playing my role as a student, doing my best to revise & trusting God for the rest. I’m not gonna view God in my own limited mind, but pressing onto Him to see breakthrough in my exams. I thank Him abundantly for blessing me with such an amazing friends. Although they are far apart, but somehow someway, when I need encouragement, they call at the right time. He never left me alone, but continuously to provide His source of strength. It’s very comforting all the time to know that I am always in His heart. He is thinking of me all the time. Not gonna live a moment without His presence in me!

Hide me now

Under your wings

Cover me

within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know his power
In quietness and trust

Memoirs!

Emotion!

Recently I’ve been posted to West Heidelberg to do my general practitioner visits in a community clinic. But let me tell you a lil about the socio-economic status of the community there. After 3 visits, I noticed that most of the people living at the area are older age groups, not working or retiree, staying in their houses alone. Some are abandoned by their own children, while others are just plain lonely. As for youngsters aged 20-40 years, they usually present with depression and/or on drugs. The doctors here dispense diazepam (sedatives-thanks to ian for reminding me ;-) ) & methadone (a program for drug addicts) more than they dispense anti-hypertensive or oral hypoglycemic drugs. But what grips me today was a consult made by a 21 years old man.

A man of my age generally is on his way of achieving his goals of life. Running towards the dream he dreamt since young. Or some are beginning to step into the market world, working for their living. But when I saw this case, diazepam and methadone caught my attention again. In my mind I was thinking, “Oh no! A man of my age that is living his life like that!” I was crushed. I felt so bad seeing a life of a champion going into waste.

When he came into the consultation room, I see this tall, mighty man looking tough externally but his gait and emotion written on his face betray his exterior look. Every step he made was a step of uncertainty, and his eyes were looking down, afraid…

The reason for this visit is was to get a mental health assessment so that he can be referred to a specialist.

My doctor began by asking, “Tell me more about your family”

He hesitated for a while and then said, “Must I talk about this? I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Then my doctor asked about his education and when he started taking drugs and so on. He said he stopped schooling at year 9 when he started taking drugs. As the conversation went by, he was looking down; feeling a lil uneasy and anxious; kept playing with his phone and avoiding any eye contact with us. He told us that he is currently on a disability pension and it helps to pay his flat. He is unemployed at the moment and trying his best to stop drugs and smoking. We did a mental assessment and he falls into the severe category.

Throughout the conversation we had with him, I sense despair in his voice, I sense lack of hopelessness and worthlessness. I sense a need and hunger that he has for something, but that something cannot be found. He is striving to change, and struggling with the past at the same time.

My doctor asked us, “Describe his affect (appearance and look)” & “Do you think he is depress?”

I can’t bring myself to answer those questions. I felt that it’s inappropriate to say it in front of him, especially when he is in a fragile state. The bible says in prov18:21the tongue has the power of life & death. Whatever that we say has an effect on the recipient. With his current state, I don’t think it’s the right time to magnify his condition. Say I'm in that situation, the last thing i wanna hear is to echo my current position. I would wanna ear people edifying me, comforting & strengthening me. We should speak the language of hope, language of love, language of faith… Whatever that is good, speak it! He needs to hear these languages, not about depress, not about anxious, but about LOVE!!!

I excused myself and leave early to see if I could bum into him somehow. In my heart, I was asking God to bring peace into his life, was praying that His love and comfort cover him. Hope that he will fall into God’s arms and not others. This guy needs hope, and all I can think of at this moment was God. Only His love can bring deliverance. His love can bring victory in all adversities. 1Jon4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

Only His love can conquer everything!!!!! Lord, give him a tangible heart! & let Your presence be so vivid to him. Let him not escape from Your love! Surely Your hand is not too short to save, nor Your ears too dull to hear.

You said You come for those who need You…

PlanetUni Camp 2007

IH ball 2007